Walk away and don't look back

But you didn't share advice. You told your own story with zero help for OP.

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Yeah, fuck that noise.

He gave you an indication of subtle interest at a point.

Even though he is in a relationship, and protected by the "we're just friends" label.

I bet her attention feels good to him, even if it is on the smallest level possible.

>She texted back: “ Because I tried them on that one time and forgot about them and they’ve been in my bag since. I didn’t like them so I forgot all about them.

Why was she taking this lingerie to try on at work? Doesn't make much sense when she could try them on at home.

Nobody here needs you to be a devil's advocate.

I just want you to know, that it is okay to put yourself first. No relationship is worth screwing your mental health over for. If he doesn’t budge, tell him you won’t either and end it at that. You simply have a boundary that is being crossed and he is ignoring it, defending against it, even.

It’s one thing to be insecure about him having female friends which clearly seems to not be the case here, but it is definitely not a good sign if he is willing to defend her against your very valid concern without even taking it into consideration.

I am sorry you went through all of that. Being cheated on is a very hard thing to emotionally recover from. I wish you the best, OP❤️

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You need to break up and then stop dating people. You are nowhere near ready to make good choices for yourself

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You're right, clearly I mustn't fully trust him. I am certain he wouldn't do anything intentionally but I'm not certain something accidental won't happen.

I'll have a chat with him tonight and see how it goes. Depending on his response I'll give it some time and lay out a boundary that if she becomes a reoccurring theme in our relationship I'm not interested. It's just difficult because I do work in the same place as him and 100% would have to find a different job haha

I feel like he is oblivious to it but I have tried to point it out to him, saying she's had his full attention for four months and now I'm in the picture all of these small little things have started happening. He did mention when he first met her he fancied him (which was max only 4 months ago haha) so I know he finds her attractive. I don't think he's the type of guy to do anything untowards but accidents can happen and that'd be the end of it for me anyway.

>I trust him but I don't trust her

You don't have to trust her. You're not in a relationship with her. Simple as that. If it turns out you don't actually trust him around her then perhaps re-evaluate why that is.

>it bothers me he doesn't seem to listen.

Ignoring your concerns outright isn't cool. That's probably a bigger concern. But I would try to address that with him first before deciding where the relationship ultimately goes.

Thank you for your reply 💕 I honestly don't see the situation getting better but I also know I'm just done with drama and might be a bit harsh about it, hence this post. Having known him for so long I didn't get the impression he was like this and bless him he's so great about everything else but I truly can't be defending myself against someone he barely knows.

I have caught one ex cheating before and I just had a gut feeling so I went over and another ex I could tell from day one his friend wasn't good news and sure enough she was sneaky and tried him multiple times haha. Funny world.

Yow, well boy #2 is a little better but he needs to go too.

The first one would touch me without permission and towards the end of our relationship he made fake accounts to attack me and make me go to him. To which he admitted it and I left.

>don't get your heart broken

Ooooh. She don't like you like you.

Yeah... that is no go in my book.

To me, that sounds like she is potentially jealous of you, and jealousy usually means one thing... Feelings.

Which your BF is either oblivious to, or kindling.

It takes two to fix, he ain't participating.

Are we sure the first one was the toxic relationship?

If he is willing to prioritize someone else over you, his girlfriend and someone he has known for much longer, then it is something to be worried about.

Given that this relationship is only a month old, do you believe that the situation is going to get any better? If your bf doesn’t even try to listen to your perspective over something like this, don’t count on him respecting your thoughts/feelings/opinions later on.

I don’t want to jump the gun and say leave him, but just know that if your gut is telling you something is wrong, you should probably listen. Especially if it wasn’t wrong before, might I add.

Sounds like you have major daddy issues.

Fuck this guy. Break up with him. Kick him to the curb.

Thank you so much for your response, unfortunately I know that pattern all too well. I have tried to be so nice to her but she seems to just shrug me off. The first thing she said about me to him is "don't get your heart broken", which? I'm sorry but when my friends get into a relationship I'm excited for them, I don't tell them to be careful without even knowing the person. So I don't think friends is an option.

It's early days in the relationship and I know we work well as friends so I think I'm siding with the idea of just being friends with him. Again thank you.

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The waters spicy on this one.

Given this is a month old relationship. Might be best if you just go back to being friends.

Things like this tend to become reoccurring theme in relationships

• You're going to perceive it as a threat
• He's just going to side with her
• You're going to be battling your insecurities
• He will continue giving you reasons to be insecure
• You will always be uncomfortable with things

Realistically, the only path to resolution is you befriending her.

The alternative is find a different relationship where none of this is a factor. You can focus solely on the relationship, and not have to burden yourself with the potential upcoming drama.

I would have a tough time with that myself, GF living with a new guy friend and is protective over.