OP you are a fucking idiot and just destroyed your relationship over one of the most selfish fucking reasons I've ever heard. His wedding is not about you dude, and you can survive kids running around in your vicinity. Not wanting to have kids doesn't mean you are never going to have to interact with some.

What a stupid way to ruin a relationship

If having to share a space with children for a few hours upsets you this much you need help from a mental health professional. Children are people and a part of society. This wedding is zero percent about you and your hangups.

I think it's just because we've always done our finances with equally splitting rent, and then having imbalance by having me pay most of the bills, and more of other living expenses (eating out + groceries etc). We've never done an exact ratio split kind of thing, but it probably works out to about 60/40 overall.

I basically feel like what I'm proposing (splitting rent + travel) maintains this status quo.

Are you this selfish about everything in your life?

Troll

Congratulations you just blew up your relationship over someone else's choice for their wedding while also insulting your potential future MIL.

Sebby told you it had nothing to do with the mom, and you just wouldn't let it go. You wanna be child free that's fine your MIL doesn't control your reproduction life.

But refusing to go to people you claim to care about and love wedding makes you an AH. They aren't saying they are gonna have kids now just they want some family who happen to be children at their wedding and unless you are magically footing the bill for it. You need to shut up, apologize and be happy for them or ya you don't have to worry about a wedding with Jen cause she'll dump you if she hasn't already.

Hahahahaha. Is this legit real?? Holy shit I can't imagine being so entitled that I refuse to go to SOMEONE ELSE'S wedding because they aren't having it the way that YOU want?? I am floored you would think this is reasonable and I imagine that's the reaction your GF had too. She just realized that you think your disdain for children (this is different than being CF, if that's what you want cool your choice, but what you're describing just sounds like active hatred of children) surpasses the needs of the people actually getting married here. She realized you don't have any empathy and that you're self centered, and it probably helped her draw the conclusion that you would likely consider your needs more important than hers as well.

Damn who is really the child here?? I would expect this level of entitlement out of a toddler, maybe you would learn something spending time around kids 😂😂

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I can see your point but I'm not sure what exactly you're suggesting in the reply? I get that of course if I didn't ask her to chip in for my rent and she paid her 800, I paid my 1500, of course she'd be happier. But is that a good thing if that's the only reason she's putting aside her unhappiness with having to commute and staying together?

It is meant to have an expiry date (only for 2 years), otherwise I agree with you that I am not a fan of LDRs. But I'm also aware that plans never really work out (few years ago I didn't even think I'd be working in the UK).

So you know their wedding isn't about you and what you want, right? Why would you feel "betrayed"? If Jen and you were planning a wedding and she secretly invited kids, oh yes that's betrayal. But a whole different couple, doing what they want for their wedding isn't betraying you.

You need to grow up. Children are everywhere. You're entitled to a child free life, not a child free world.

You just tried to make their special day about you. Your gf (maybe ex) recognised this, and probably realised that you’re the one being manipulative.

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Holy buckets, OP. Get over yourself. Your friends wedding is not about you. You are being a shitty friend.

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You are going to blow up your relationship because you cant be around kids a few hours. Most parents, not all, will only have their kids at the reception thru the meal and then some dancing. A few hours at most. Get over yourself.

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Don't see why you're separating so many things. Why not add both rents, bills and travelling costs and split that by percentage of your incomes? Since she works less but has to spend more time travelling, the time side of things seem more or less even already.

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Are you genuinely that dense? The world does not revolve around you! You've got no reason to feel betrayed. That makes absolutely no sense and it forsnt impact your ability to have a child free wedding. Grow up cause you sound so much like a child you'd probably try to ban yourself from your wedding.

I did the whole moving away from a shared space thing and let me tell you it was hell. I couldn’t get back half as much as I wanted to because, you know, life, but I also couldn’t put down any roots or form any connections because it was temporary. The mental toll of being responsible for someone else’s place that I didn’t get to use or have any say over while also being responsible for a place of my own and not having any help with was a lot- and, I mean props for offering to pay half of hers. But it seems like this proposal is more about what’s helpful for you. You aren’t going to go to her place by your own admission. And she’s going to have the entire weight of keeping things going on her shoulders- if you feel you aren’t spending enough time together it’s going to be her fault because she had work and things and didn’t feel like commuting. IF this is a temporary, for sure end date situation in the near future it might be worth fighting over. But I think your proposal is just going to add financial stress and insecurities to your relationship when they’re already in a precarious position from going long distance. This is one of those times where you need to see what your priorities really are. If having a healthy relationship is one of them, having mixed finances doesn’t make sense right now. If money is more important you can hold your ground, but as the stresses of being apart add up she’s going to look at the half of your rent she’s paying for and not even getting to enjoy and realizing she can cut her losses for someone who’s at least willing to go see her some of the time. Do you want to be right, rich, or happy? You’re getting two of the three at best.

Well that escalated quickly.

You're one of the people that give CF people a bad reputation and perpetuate the stereotype that all of you are selfish people that hate children.

So being child free is not the same as not ever being around children.

I am child free and would probably have a child free wedding, but that's because there are not a lot of little ones running around my family. I have a niece who is 12 that I would absolutely NEED at my wedding and she acts like an adult so with her included I still see it as a child free wedding. But if my partner and I had more young kids in the family, I can see us having kids at the wedding, but I'd be child free in regards to my guests bringing kids I didn't really know.

Sebby and Addie have decided to have children at their wedding. This has nothing to do with you. If you are so terrified of children you can't share space with them, then don't go. But to make this out as an affront to you and your lifestyle is so remarkably selfish and ridiculous that of course your girlfriend is wondering what future there is with you.

These people having children at their wedding is their decision, and as I mention in my first paragraph, a lot of people rethink what they want as they age, their circles change, etc. Or, maybe Sebby did cave to pressure from family, and if so, who cares? How does you not going change that at all?

Sit there all alone on your moral, child free mountain top, and watch life pass you by.

I CANT go to this wedding Bc there will be CHILDREN there and this is somehow ABOUT ME