>painful lesson that’s something i will have to carry with me the rest of my life

I disagree with this. You've acknowledged it. Now it's time to learn from it. You take it forward by your actions not by holding onto it. A lesson for this relationship (if she wants to continue) but also for the relationships going forward. No good can come from holding onto something like this for the rest of your life.

omg, I am truly sorry for what you have gone through :(

which is why i came here in the first place, obviously i do not want to breakup but im not going to manipulate or try to convince her to stay with me. if its possible to prove to her im capable of earning her trust back then i will do whatever she asks if not then i take the mistakes on my chin. I made the decision i made, there is no undoing it and if it ends up being a painful lesson that’s something i will have to carry with me the rest of my life

Have you told him about your trauma and told him that his pride doesn't supercede it? And honestly fuck toxic masculinity be where men's ego is tied to their wallet.

Well you evidently want to "try" whatever that means so just be honest with it. However I don't think you realise that you taking accountability and being faithful isn't enough for a relationship.

It's her choice in the end.

Then don't ask stupid questions. You wanted to cheat, you got what you deserved.

Reminds me of those Tik Tok videos where the woman snoops through the partner's phone only to find out he tried to cheat but failed because nobody wanted him. Cringe.

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Real people in porn are still not on dating apps. And people who post on dating apps don’t want you masurbating to them. That is still disgusting if you think of all social medias like that. A dating app is a dating app. Weirdos can turn anything into porn and sexualize anything. Doesn’t make it right.

Im not saying every picture of a women i see im gonna beat my meat too💀porn is everywhere and as a young man its easy to get desensitized and want to look at something “real” as opposed to all the fake pornstars ect.

Ew, so you’re just a creep? I can see someone sexy on instagram without getting horny?

any image you use to satisfy yourself is porn, Instagram can be porn along with twitter and any other social media platform where you see and use sexually gratifying images

what a helpful input what would i do without half of you lovely redditors!

I wasn't going to cheat on her I was only going to cheat on her!

I don’t think that this is an action you can do without malicious intent. You just try to find different ways of saying you did without admitting it. You’re selfish and did not care about her at all when downloading that app. And you know this. You obviously don’t know her worth and it’s really pathetic to say you do. If you did you would have never downloaded tinder. Tinder is not porn. Nobody on the planet thinks that way. You can’t somehow come to your senses AFTER making a decision (NOT A MISTAKE) and realize her worth. You should have known it when you started dating.

I would not be on here asking strangers for advice if i did not know her worth, yes i know when youre in a relationship the things you do will have a serious affect on your significant other and if i were thinking of the adverse consequences it would bring we would not be having this conversation. I did not do this with malicious intent but by putting myself over her without thinking of what comes from that

I wasn’t actively going out of my way to prove i was being faithful, not that i feel it wouldve made a difference. i was not aware it was something that was causing her this much grief until she got to her breaking point. Like i said we had talked about it when it happened and got back together, i had assumed she wouldve broken up with me then if it wasn’t something we could come back from

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Good, she deserves someone who sees her worth. Not a shitty boyfriend who doesn’t care about her. Leave the girl alone and grow up. Blunt but truthful.

It's over, you ruined it. While you might not have cheated, downloading a dating app behind your GFs back is a far cry from being "faithful".

She's right to dump you and she'll be right to not take you back.

Take this as a learning experience. If you think you love someone, don't download dating apps behind their back.

No it doesn't. You've had months after to try and for whatever reason it seems its not enough.

You should have been trying from moment she agreed to get back together. Not from now, because she broke up with you.

She doesn’t feel like she can trust you, and doesn’t think that trust can be repaired. She probably does think it will always be in the back of her mind. It’ll pop up whenever things aren’t great. You get distant - is he cheating? You come home late from work - is he cheating? You like another girl’s photo on social media - is he cheating? I’m sure it hurts but not everything is fixable. She is making the best decision for both of you.

Let her go. The problem is that although you say you didn’t intend to cheat she has no way to verify that. Because that’s just what every caught cheater says. And even if you could proof that you didn’t meet anyone it looks like it wasn’t for a lack of trying, just a lack of opportunity.

The trust is broken. That’s irreversible. She realized that she can’t fully trust you again. There is nothing you can do. How would you even try to earn her trust back? Wasn’t that what you tried for 4 months? It didn’t work. Telling her that you were faithful since is not doing the trick because that was the baseline of her expectations. That’s why cheating is so terrible, in a monogamous relationship even if you can’t agree in anything the monogamy is the baseline of terms you agreed on. And that foundation was taken away.

Let her go. Learn and do better in the future

To not try would just prove i never did care would it not?