People watch porn when they’re horny. They don’t download a dating app. A dating app…is for dating.

Many have, but that's beside the point.

If you want to be better, do so, but not for her, she's already made a decision; do it because cheating on your partner is shitty. She doesn't have to stick around waiting for you to prove that you can respect her - she can be single or find another man who will, someone who won't break her trust and then try to prove himself.

The fact of the matter is you don't necesserily "deserve" it. You aren't automatically entitled to "try" it and I don't think you understand that.

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People who use money as a manipulation tactic suck. Your ex is trash for doing that to you. People who love bomb with gestures, gifts, and spendings only to use it as a weapon against you are narcissistic. You didn’t force your ex to pay for you. He’s full of shit.

I get why you now are distrustful of having people pay because you think it could be used against you. I would just tell your current boyfriend where your feelings are coming from and take solace in knowing you have done more than enough to try to split payments. If your boyfriend insists he’s comfortable paying on dates and doesn’t want 50/50, a nice middle ground is maybe establishing whoever suggests the date pays.

You can come up with some date ideas ahead of time and prepay activities! That way you’re also contributing. I personally don’t find splitting the bill a big deal. It shouldn’t hurt someone’s pride when a partner wants to equitably contribute. :)

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Maybe you could each take turns paying when you go for datenights?

I will admit at the start of my relationship I had this weird thing about being the one to pay or being "seen" to be the one paying because I'm the "man". Like I had to prove I was the provider I guess? But who the fuck was I proving it to?

Its so cringy and redundant looking back on it. Who fucking cares who's paying?

How many of those people that physically fucked someone besides there significant other have gotten back together tough. My actions are not justifiable at all nor am i trying to say i deserve to get her back but i rather try to prove i can be better then just let her walk out of my life without a word

Well, man, words are easy. Saying she's the love of your life (do you know how many times do we read that on posts about people who've cheated on their partners?) and how she deserves lotalty means nothing when your actions showed her otherwise. That was the disrespectful part, how you'll behave in future relationships won't affect her.

My personal experience as a outsider regarding open gay and lesbian relationships is that some form very strong fairly long lastingly group orgy relationships that function like extremly close friendships groups

or

they fall apart spectacularly, painfully, and savagely

Because favourites, better at sex, jealousy, feeling left out, actually being left out, conflicting desires about housing, children, rivalry, companion, boredom, conflict regarding drug use, lack of emotional maturity...

Unfortunately most people find that they really want to be the center of one person's whole world. And it's very hard to have that in mutil sexual open relationships especially when your young.

What is anyones justification for watching porn?

I have no desire to manipulate anyone, if there is not a chance to gain her trust back then i will wish her nothing but the best and be left to account for my actions

I’m still confused. So you download a dating app coz…you’re bored? Like can you not watch Netflix or something. Even in this post your justification is bullshit. “Bored, horny, whatever”. That’s what your justification is. I hope that you’ve come up with something better than that if she does come over. God forbid next time she catches you being bored again

>in every other aspect i think im everything she is looking for which is why we got back together in the first place

Evidently not. Sounds like she didn't give herself enough time and now she has. But I see you are meeting up tomorrow and don't doubt you will manipulate the situation, so she stays.

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In that aspect yes i do believe there would be someone out there that would not have done what i did. in every other aspect i think im everything she is looking for which is why we got back together in the first place

She broke up with you. That's it. Don't pretend the reason your fighting is for her. It's for you.

If you are so sure she will find someone who treats her better, then let her do that.

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I love my mom but have definitely done things that have hurt her, does that mean i dont love her no, its means im selfish and chose to put myself over other people without thinking of the consequences

So your in an open relationship.

This eaither works or it doesn't.

It works by both parties approaching that they honestly want the other to be totally fulfilled and happy while prioritising each other but being very very accepting of each other.

Jealousy is a difficult emotion to navigate as is fear. Both are natural reactions to someone you love sleeping with others.

Why not make it a three way or share your sides and feel more equal about it

but what happens if their side rejects you... Thats why having extremely clear pre agreed boundaries or just being totally open...

There's always the fear the partner falls in love more then you with a side and leaves. Of course this situation is always possible in any relationship.

Its just can seam more possible when sex intimacy ie basically secondary complete relationships are going on side by side.

Trust me you will see

She is coming over tomorrow, we ended via text but both felt like we deserved to talk about this in person

You're clearly not okay with and it wasn't a good idea for you two to do this

I agree and will most likely be how this ends up. i just feel like its almost more disrespectful to say i will be more faithful in future relationships when shes the one who deserves it

No, this is where you're wrong. Love means never intentionally hurting your partner. One bad decision (not a mistake) DOES over-shadow the other 99%.

Your ex can (and so can other women) find a partner who never intentionally hurts her. In your next relationship you need to make sure you don't do anything that would hurt that person or that would cause them to end it.