When was that even presented as a thing? Did I give you a false name or a false picture? No.

You're just grasping at straws. You don't have to listen to me or anyone else. But don't turn this around on me. You don't like what I'm saying fine. Throw your life away. My life is going to keep going in the exact direction it was going to go in.

It's your life that's at the crossroads. Who is going to be at fault when you don't get your degree? Me? Because you don't know my name?

Who's going to be at fault when you don't get to be whatever you actually wanted to be when you were a kid? Me? Because you don't know what my face looks like?

Who's side do you think I'm on? Why do you think I'm so salty right now? You're advocating for a damn guy who thinks you're worth more as a babysitter than as whatever you could be capable of in college. Think about that for a minute. He thinks that's the best use of your time.

I don't even know you and I'm pissed off because if you decide to throw your life away, our whole world loses out on whatever you could have been. I lose out. That little girl loses out. Even that dumbass guy loses out. You getting your education contributes to the whole world and because of his dumb, selfish ass, you're actually considering just... not doing it.

But, you know. Be mad at me.

[removed]

This ^

You will be lucky if he is a weekend daddy. This guy doesn't really want the kid.

Tell him you downloaded Reddit and searched his profile just to see what he was interested in and saw the subreddits he was commenting on. Ask him flat out to see his phone as his comments were very concerning. If he won’t give you his phone, then you have a pretty good idea that he is hiding something from you. If he does show you his phone, make sure you search all his apps, not just Reddit. Also, if he has an iPhone take a look at the pics stored/shared on those apps (Settings/iPhone storage/“name of app”/photos)

In the meantime, check your cell phone bills and credit card statements to see if there are any phone numbers that you are unfamiliar with that he is communicating a lot with and charges that seem unusual.

Alternatively, if you aren’t ready to confront him, set up a fake Reddit account (using a fake email address) and send him a direct message. Say you saw a couple of his comments on the affair subreddit and you are intrigued. Tell him you are in the area and are looking for someone to meet up with. If he shows interest ask for a spicy pic. This will let you know if it’s him and how far he is willing to go.

I wish you luck!

Bills are usually split on a percentage basis, except in 'room-mate' situations. He sounds like a room-mate with great benefits to HIM. You, not so much.

The dog is 2 and won't change. It was bred to be 'reactive'. Sometimes, you can train that out of a dog. but at 2 years, she's set in her ways. How many people has she bitten? And lunges at children?! I don't know where you live, but here, cops or guns would have been involved.

This won't end well. She'll hurt/kill 1 of your cats or bite someone(probably you) badly.

Bangnanny actually.

Wonder if he got divorced for banging the last nanny.

[removed]

Because he’s a pedophile and preyed on a young teen with self esteem issues.

[removed]

Assuming this is true and not just you trolling, you’re not the victim. His wife and kids are. You blackmailed him, which is a criminal act. You then tried to ruin his life more after he decided to be truthful to his family. Leave him and his family alone. You fucked around and found out.

[removed]

So that’s a no then. So you’re living with the guy, working for him, and all you’re getting is room, board, and some dick.

You know live in nanny’s get a salary on top of room and board, right? He’s getting a great deal, you are not. And it’ll be even worse after a few years when he either no long needs a nanny or finds his next teenager. Then you’ll be without any money, no place to live, and no education.

You also realize he doesn’t want you to go to school because then his free nanny isn’t available when he needs her.

[removed]

Women want you to listen, not problem-solve.

Maybe it would help you both if you asked "Am I listening or am I helping for this one?"

I'm not kidding.

Sorry for being so emotional but you kinda struck my trauma nail right on it's head. I am constantly feeling the responsibility to fix her mistakes

[removed]

[removed]

Aww cute, small dick energy, comment.

[deleted]

You’ve received 70+ comments worth of advice, so maybe you should take your own advice of “stop lying or go”.

I appreciate you trying to make sense of this, but my mother's life choices are one of my main driving forces to BE better in the first place. These two men don't share all that many similarities on the outside. I may have fucked up in getting with someone who's so much older than me, but that was never her particular problem. I suppose you mean choosing the wrong partners in general? But I mean, it did take three years for this to happen and I'm immediately considering leaving, so do we really have to put it on the same level?

[removed]

I would not be so quick to assume you have no case. You have been the primary child care provider and bearing all the costs associated with the child (which is bullshit, by the way). Those facts tend to matter in family court! You should absolutely have a long conversation with a lawyer about this but please don’t assume you’re screwed before you do your research.

A very normal outcome here would be that you’re given full custody and he’s forced to FINALLY take some financial responsibility for your shared child.

[removed]