You did…when you posted here looking for advice that you don’t want to take.

So, why bother posting here? My guess is troll/rage bait, or you really are that clueless to what’s happening here.

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tell her "proof or take it to the courts and prove it there. until such a time as you provide proof a child even exists that could remotely actually be his, do not contact again."

create a throw away gmail account. provide that account to the ex GF. inform her that she will be blocked on ALL other forms of communication. once proof is provided (if it is) then arrange to meet IN PUBLIC to get a DNA sample of the child's to compare to your SO.

proof likely won't be sent, but at least there is an avenue in the event she isn't lying about the child.

likely she is, because why didn't she go after support?

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There is more love out there for you. I promise. This situation sucks but you'll grow through it and things will be ok.

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The smell will give it away anyway. And if you're concerned with health issues around vaping, wait until you smokes cigs a few years....

But yes, you can tell him. And he can decide if it's a dealbreaker to him.

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If you know he smokes weed openly then I don't think he has a right to be upset or respond negatively if you told him or if he sees you randomly smoking a cig

If he asks just say "I've always smoked, I try not to smoke around people as some people don't like the cig smoke"

If he responds negatively then it's his problem

There’s no way you’re hiding it

To be fair, you are using a throw away…

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Your comment has been the most helpful, thank you

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I’ve told her we should just be friends and she hasn’t really gone by that. I know there’s the very obviously perspective of if she doesn’t respect your wishes then that’s your decision…but people are more complex than that. Do you think there’s a way for us to just be friends while she heals or does it seem more like she needs that time away before she opens up romantically at all?

This would be a deal breaker for me..

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Example 1 was enough for me, this guy is a hazard and a criminal.

He stops or you leave him, simple as that.

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Wait so he hasn’t had a cellphone in a year?! Please leave omg. Your life will be so much better

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