Contact a DV organization in your area. I saw your post from a few months back. You are in physical danger.

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>He is a great partner and good father...

OP, I know you are only saying this because you feel trapped and like you have no choice but to make yourself content with the situation you are in.

Someone else said to gather evidence of all the expenses you have been paying for. Please do so and then talk to a lawyer. Don't just assume you have no case and your little one will be taken from you. Also, it doesn't sound like this man wants the responsibility, considering how he has been preparing for an easy separation. I think he is taking advantage of you while he can but if you leave he may very well wash his hands of both you and your baby.

It sounds like you are also grieving some of your hopes and dreams, marriage and a loving little family.

I highly recommend the book Should I Stay Or Should I Go? A Guide to Knowing If Your Relationship Can--And Should--be Saved by JAC Patrissi and Lundy Bancroft. Get it today, it will help you find the path forward that you're looking for.

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Thanks. That helped.

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How are you supposed to know that a spouse would prioritize you like that after marriage if you’ve never seen it before that?

Our 6th year anniversary is tomorrow. We’ve been together since age 16. He is a wonderful man but I feel is still emotionally dependent on what his mother tells him to do. She does seem controlling, but he doesn’t see it, and when I point it out he gets offended.

Why do we keep seeing the same theme constantly.....younger girl falls in love with an older man and is surprised that he wants a live in housewife/babysitter, is being controlled as to what she can/cannot do, has no friends or family nearby, no job, no money. I'm getting tired of reading the same shit over and over. Ffs, no man in their right mind would be remotely interested in a young girl in their late teens/early twenties except for the reasons above and lots of sex

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Hunny. You’re 22. If you can stay home and save. Stay home no save. I think the savings might be high. But one more year at home will be a life changer for your future. Don’t rush to be on your own. You have a lifetime ahead of you.

Y'all started the relationship as children. There is a lot of development and change from mid-teens to early twenties, and more from early to mid twenties.

She may have outgrown the relationship. Or there could be any number of other things going on. But if she doesn't want contact from you, don't contact her. She's ended the relationship. You need to move on. That is painful and scary but it's what you need to do..

This makes sense. I was just unsure on what would be better for us but my anxiety is definitely swaying that decision. Thank you.

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You chose the wrong baby daddy. You will be a single mother soon enough.

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In my opinion, your reason for not wanting to do individual therapy first and separately is a little controlling. I know it's out of anxiety. Seeing how your partner acts on their own accord and not because you're forcing them to do something is very important information. If he does stop going to individual therapy, it's not your role to force him to start again. It's your role to assess what that means about the relationship and maybe even how much respect he's willing to give you and your wishes

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It baffles me that yall are in your late 20s acting like you're in high school. Not you specifically, mostly him. I would leave him. Be friends with her. Start dating a man, not some dude who acts like a child who has a petty crush.

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Thank you

In my life family takes priority. When you marry someone they are family. At that point they are as equal as a sibling. Priority within the family is a case by case basis on the situation.

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Sounds like you need to sit down and have an open conversation with her instead of playing tug of war.

Maybe she's gone off the deep end. Maybe you're just having trouble adjusting to a relationship where you are not in power. You can't figure it out if you don't talk about it.

How long have you been together?

If he’s going to always defer to his mother, you’re not going to have the adult relationship you think.

If he’s the type to snap to it and grow up when he chooses, then great. If he’s the guy who’s just learned to let his mother run the show, you could be in for a nightmare. He might just always let her decide for him. He might expect you to make all of those decisions for him. He might expect you to do EVERYthing his mother currently does.

Including cook, clean, manage the household, and live vicariously through your children.

Does this all sound like a situation you want to fly into?

If I were you, I would gladly wait six months and take every day of it to study my bf for the kind of man he intends to be. And I would straight up tell him so. “I’ll wait six months, like we agreed, but after that, I’m moving out. If it’s not with you, it’ll be a roommate. Then for us to live together it’ll be a whole other approach. Maybe I won’t want to move away from my roommate.

But I need for you to step up and show me that I’m waiting for my adult bf. I will not be your surrogate mother, I will not let you move in without paying rent, and if you quit your job right after you move in, with the expectation of living on your savings for a year while I go to work every day, I’ll move out within four months.”

Yes I know it seems dramatic, but you’re setting up an ugly picture with his mother’s influence. These men often wind up incredibly dependent and resentful. Just be careful.