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No, I’ve never suspected him of having an affair. This is completely out of left field.

I thought he was happy with our marriage and sex life in general. He has not given me any indication that he is unhappy.

You think there’s a shot she’s going to just forgive you for cheating on her and help you raise your affair baby that would be a constant reminder of your betrayal?

Not only are you, in fact, a scumbag, but you’re also lacking a great number of brain cells.

You sound like you truly love each other. He sounds depressed. You sound tired. Both of those things are okay.

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Hopefully you're just a bad troll. On the off chance you're not, enjoy life as his child bride prisoner.

Another commenter brought it up. It's a good idea and what I'm gonna end up doing. Thank you.

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I don't want to alarm you, but he might not stopped with just his friend. Does he subscribe to any Reddit subs? Does he have a username here? I don't advocate for breaching anyones privacy, but he has already stomped on your boundaries and I'd have a look through his phone.

I haven't seen anything prevalant that suggests that if you get turned down for your kink/fantasy that you would turn to something else. In the subs I partake in, most guys that get turned down just fade off into oblivion. Right now, this is like a drug for him, an addiction. And it's skewing his better judgement.

2 completely different fetishes/scenarios. Most guys in this ls have zero interest in being with anyone but their wife. Most couples that live the lifestyle use it as an extension to spice up their sex life, something they can do together(sounds weird I know) . That wouldn't be a huge concern of mine, him getting with someone else.

TMI, but....we do this so my wife can experience and live life and I'm so happy she can and I'm thrilled when she has great experiences. I haven't touched anyone but my wife in 40 years, and I won't. If my wife didn't want to do it or continue to do it, we would be done, no questions asked. Conversley, I think your husband wants you to be his personal porn star. It's all about him, not about you.

There are others in the community with a lot more experience than us that may have more input, but that is my experience. I would minimum have your husband go to counseling with you.

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Unfortunately he's the one that brought it up that's its how he unwinds and before I was stupid enough to believe that.

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OK then I think that seeing that everything is legit, you need to cut him some slack. It's not a random aunt that died, it's his mom. And around the holiday period too. His whole life has been turned upside down, he's grieving, he's vulnerable.

Go see your buddy and then see if he reaches out. Maybe just shoot him a message to say you're sorry and that you're still around for him and leave it at that.

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You’re obviously not at all compatible. You can’t change them and they can’t change you.

Are you kidding me? Get away from this guy and go to college... He doesn't care about you, he just wants a babysitter.

Divide and conquer. Sit down with him with a big list of all the chores and Divide them up one by one. Then both agree to have all your own chores done by a certain time on a certain day each week. Each of you should be 100% responsible for certain chores.

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Yeah it may come down to it.

This.

If she is a lesbian, she might talk highly of you and he might get jealous. It sounds like she sees through his B.S.

I hope you find the strength within yourself to leave him. It's sad that his friend values you more than he does.