Recent comments in /f/relationship_advice

AutoModerator t1_j2f82f1 wrote

Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We'd like to take this time to remind users that:

  • We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors

  • Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)

  • ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.

  • No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. This is not an all-inclusive list.

  • All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.

  • What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. This is not an all-inclusive list.

If you have any questions, please send us a modmail.


#This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

HatsAndTopcoats t1_j2f7z2y wrote

I am really curious where she even got that "joke" from, because I'm a decade older than her and even to me it's antiquated. A thought I have is that she and her friend may have picked it up from some show or video that was using it ironically and they don't even realize the original context. I would start by asking her where she heard it, and then explain why you found it so offensive.

5

GivesYouBells t1_j2f7vyo wrote

It is very reasonable!!!!!!! And believe me, I’ve dated guys, 7-9 years older than me, my grandmother met my grandfather when she was 17 and he was 53, so no judgment whatsoever. Woman to woman, the hardest thing I’ve had to overcome to make my relationships successful is thinking that my feelings are not the most important thing in the relationship. His are just as important, and I think realizing you’re upset will help with the issue.

1

Tight-Cut-4606 OP t1_j2f7ubf wrote

Thanks for taking the time. As someone who is involved in this lifestyle you may be better aware to answer questions (I would really appreciate it).

I am 99% sure he has shared some pictures of me with thus friend in which the friend relieved himself over. He spoke about it descriptively in such detail I cant possible think it was fake. Knowing how long he has been into it, even if I tell him I'm not down to do it that's end of, do you think he will seek some other form of satisfaction of another or similar fettish elsewhere?

The other thing really bothering me, is how likely would it be he participates in these activities roles reversed. Him with someone else's wife? Or are these 2 fettishes completely seperate?

Thank you.

9

Flat_Lengthiness_319 t1_j2f7dhh wrote

It’s up to you if you want to repair the relationship or not. If you do I would type a heartfelt email (or just write up points you would like to bring up and do it on the phone) and explain to her how her actions were harmful and how her response was also a problem, that you understand it isn’t easy to be told you said something wrong but she still needs to take accountability. If she can take that like a mature adult in a way that satisfies you, then maybe you’re on the road towards a stronger relationship, if she gives you more of the same, then it might be best for you to distance yourself. I’m a white woman and her age and I certainly know better than to say something like that, she is old enough to be responsible for her actions and to take this as a learning experience. She might not have intended any harm but she is an adult with family who are affected by her comments, and she needs to be more cognizant of what she’s saying.

4

Sweet-Amoeba- t1_j2f7b6l wrote

I know Reddit doesn’t like age gaps but we do have a very healthy dynamic and people have commented that we are great together. We are also at similar life stages. I know that maybe my perspective on communication might still change in the future since I’m still young, so I’m just asking objectively if that’s a reasonable complaint to have. I guess you’re right and I should probably bring it up anyway.

2