Recent comments in /f/relationship_advice

Ok-Bass2557 t1_j2f788n wrote

As someone involved with this lifestyle....your husband has made a comedy of errors. This ls is way more popular than people believe. But he is obsessed with the fantasy. I don't blame you for having the feelings you do, it is creepy how he approached it.

Most relationships fail that try to open up after being monogamous. In this case, I'm betting if you went through with it, hooked up with his friend and had a great time, he would of been balled up in the corner crying his eyes out with the realization of what just happened. The fantasy sounds great until it punches you in the gut when you see it irl. And you can never undo it.

I dont know if I would directly advocate for divorce, but it would be on my radar....

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borkenschnorke t1_j2f6xqo wrote

You really should break up.

If it was flipped and he were to make a lot more money than you, would this make you try harder to match him or would that be fine with you? Most women want a men who is more successful then themselves and earns more money. It is totally natural. However don't say its about both providing half....

You tell him that he should not propose because you do not want to get married to him and if you are honest you should actually break up and give him the chance to find a partner that is more suited to what he wishes for.

3

UKNZ007Tubbs t1_j2f6v60 wrote

He has spoken to his friend.

I don’t think there is any way past this absolute breach of the trust in your relationship.

Try to get out ASAP, get yourself safe and cut him and all his friends out of your life.

And when you are safe, do not be afraid to tell his family what he did. They deserve to know what he did, and not his version of events that he will tell them.

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GivesYouBells t1_j2f6qro wrote

You’re entitled to express your feelings. No one can change the way you feel, including him. You guys have a pretty significant age gap… your prefrontal cortex isn’t even fully formed yet, respectfully, and you’re likely pretty mature from the way you write. I definitely can relate and understand from relationships I was in when I was your age (I’m 26f). But honestly, the further you go into this relationship feeling like you shouldn’t bring up your feelings about something that bothers you is another brick in the wall between you.

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lynxtosg03 t1_j2f6q4t wrote

I think the first step is to spend more time with her doing anything. When she's opened up more to you then bring up the subject privately and let them know how it hurt you. I'm sure your niece is upset and embarrassed as well. She's young, and probably needs to sort herself a bit on this issue. Keep being there for them as best you can.

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