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You don’t need to see the phone. What are you hoping will happen?

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Ask your gf her thoughts. Bring up that your sister will be in your life and you won’t cut her out for bigots. How does she see the future going?

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He is visiting family and friends for the holidays because they live across the country and he hasn’t seen them in a few years. I’m totally understanding of that because my family lives in a different country and I do sometimes visit for long periods of time too. Otherwise we live close to each other and would spend time together all the time. But I’m very good with texting and he is not so much. Idk if it’s a good thing to bring it up because I don’t want him to feel like he HAS TO do it. I’m just upset that he doesn’t feel the same way I do about, you know?

Honestly this sounds like she has stuff to sort out. She wants to be ready but clearly isn't. Sometimes people try to move on before they have fully healed because they don't fully know how they have been impacted.

I don't think she has any ill intent here I think she just needs to step back from relationships for awhile.

You don't need to feel immature. It's perfectly reasonable to expect some sort of commitment or experience some hesitation when starting a relationship with someone emotionally unavailable. You're completely in the right to decide its not what you want and you shouldn't feel bad about it.

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> I know he should eventually get better, but when will that be?

Oof, who told you that? He's a shit partner, that's just who he is. No amount of hoping, or being the bestest girlfriend ever, or waiting patiently for him to come around will make him see you. Get gone!

Divorce. He doesn’t respect you.

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No my 1yo does. I was saying I make her dinner, bath and out her to bed at 7:30. Sorry that wasn’t clear.

It’s weird you expect plans already for a major night such as NYE however it should be easy to Include you in plans - “hey good friend, can you ask your good friends if girl I’m seeing can come, she would like to join.” What’s the big deal?

You expressed your concerns, and he kept pushing his original deadline. That's a sign he's trying to lock you down so that when he doesn't change it's harder for you to leave.

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You're sexually incompatible and he's trying to get you to do something you don't want to do. Leave him.

Ok first off you don’t work every second of your 830-5 job, correct? You get breaks, yes? The ability to step away from the computer, read the news, check your phone, text while doing zero work. Your wife doesn’t get that. The closest she gets is when your kid naps, but if she’s supposed to clean or cook during that time it’s not a break, correct? And while she likely checks her phone during the day she still has to keep an eye on her job (the 1 year old) because it won’t stay still until she’s done. So you need to realize that your wife is getting no breaks during that time if you’re not using your breaks to give her one.

Also, do not underestimate the power of being able to have an adult conversation throughout the day. Is it the same as hanging with your friends? No, but it’s still adult human interaction and every job I’ve had there’s at least some non work banter going in almost every meeting. Your wife gets none of that - she’s trying to figure out what someone who can’t fully talks wants all day - she doesn’t get full complete sentences until she interacts with you.

So yes you are getting two vital things at work that she’s not getting with your child - real conversation and actual breaks. The only way she can get it is when you take over for the kid 100% for a block of time or you guys pay for a babysitter.

Now, I’m not here saying you need to tough it out, but you need to realize and accept there’s a fundamental difference between what you get at your job vs what she gets at hers.

Are you giving her the equivalent of several hours alone in the garage and she’s not reciprocating? When did she last have several hours to herself that wasn’t sleep or running errands?

But what about his friend? He mentioned her a lot of times during the date. And then spent new year with her. Do you think he has feelings for her?

I’m guessing that he’s been away for work? Or is it a long distance relationship? my bf has a very intense job and when we were living apart he would text me but sometimes wouldn’t have much time to sleep, let alone text me. I would just establish that you don’t feel like a priority to him when he doesn’t respond to you.

I would be upset but if you're upset then you're upset. It's your feelings to have. Talk to him about it.

But I wouldn't tell him that even though he's sick he needs to prioritize texting you. People are different when they're sick. I get a cold and it's the end of the world for me lol.

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What does you daughter want?

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