You're an idiot, and this is a waste of time. No, some fight ten years ago is not a bigger issue than a literal crime.

I think there are a few important distinctions about participating in sexual fantasies independently while in a relationship.

For starters is this a kink or a fetish. If it’s a fetish and he absolutely needs it to be fulfilled sexual the chances of it escalating is high and puts you at risk even indirectly (ex. sharing your details or images with others online for role play)

If it is a kink there are healthy ways to explore kinks your partner doesn’t share solo. For example my partner and I both enjoy bdsm but not all the same types of play. One of their hard limits and one of my hard limits are some of the others favorites. We both know this and acknowledge this. We are both completely fine with each other exploring those kinks in private in terms of consuming porn, stories, etc about it. What is not ok is involving either of us or an actual third party (ex online role play) in that kink exploration. I’m never going to be mad at them watching porn about something that’s not my cup of tea. I also cannot police their mind and if they think about me in terms of that kink and that’s ok. I would be mad if they were participating with other people directly online or in person though.

It’s important to note just because a fantasy isn’t shared doesn’t mean the part we has to go outside the marriage to get fulfillment from it. The imagination and existing media can be a very useful tool.

If it’s #1 which it seems like it is, that is very concerning and worth working with a counselor if you wish to stay together or leaving.

If it’s not #1 and it’s a kink that just got out of hand (which can happen when you discover something new and exciting and act selfishly) ask yourself what boundaries you would need to discuss and establish to start feeling secure again.

[removed]

He needs consequences. To start, zero contact with his friend. Btw: no real friend would offer or agree to participate in behavior that will stress and/or destroy your marriage bond.

You don't need evidence to break up with someone. Just break up.

Thank you very much

I definitely think I'm along the same lines as this. I probably won't bring up a date with her again for a while, and let her open up if she feels like it since she knows how I feel.

Sorta? Marriage counseling has been hit and miss over the years.

Completely agree!

[removed]

[removed]

Jesus Christ dude. ENGAGED COWORKER are you stupid? I stopped reading there.

Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We'd like to take this time to remind users that:

• We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors

• Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)

• ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.

• No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. This is not an all-inclusive list.

• All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.

• What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. This is not an all-inclusive list.

If you have any questions, please send us a modmail.

#This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Change your number and delete your socials for awhile. He can't contact you if he doesn't have your phone number or socials.

[removed]

Why are you a doormat? Why do you avoid conversations and tell him "no, I will never do that"? Why do you not believe what he says and prefer to live in fantasy land?

This started 3 years ago. You ignored it, even had a baby, and then kept ignoring it? You had sex with him while he was saying all of that, putting you off, and you still kept having sex with him? Why? Why didn't you tell him, no, I'm not into that, then stop having sex and leave the room?

Your husband doesn't respect your boundaries. Your husband doesn't respect you. I can tell you with 90% certainty that if he sees you with another man, then he'll become insecure and blame you for his own insecurity. The number of times on reddit and elsewhere in which men are mad at their wive's for having a good time because they had sex with someone else is huge. Or then, he'll tell you that since you fucked someone, now he can go fuck another woman to be even.

This is fucking mess and the worst part is that you have a one year old baby that you are putting in the middle of this time bomb.

Get a grip! Tell him he is out of his fucking mind.

You are also putting yourself in a very dangerous situation. What if they spring on you and want you to have sex with this man and you freeze? It's a very common reaction, so you freeze, he has sex with you even if you don't want to but you are unable to say no, they don't ask for your consent. Then what?

Yes.

[removed]

Oh, I had 0 dignity and respect for myself when we first got together. I had actually just got out of a previous bad relationship. Told him all about it and he basically ended up being the same. The issue is that I'm waking up and he doesn't like it. He's waiting for her to wake up but never considered that maybe she's decided to go another way entirely. I've attempted to leave in the past but he plays the guilt game. He's "left" but he just comes right back after saying he wasn't ever coming back. I truly just want peace and it's sad that I have to give in to his way and only his way, or leave completely, to even get close to the peace I desire.

You know how we can't tell who's a bad person and who's not, it's not like they walk around with 'predator' written on their forehead right? This man just told you. He showed you before, now he's doubling down.

It’s more interesting how it appears she keeps expecting you to compromise. It’s okay to just let her be unhappy about it. She’s not willing to meet you half way. If this was truly an issue she has 9 months to figure it out. It wasn’t really important then.

Two last names are not an issue. Most people don’t even reference their middle names beyond an initial.

For whatever reason she’s becoming unhappy. This is no guarantee to fix it or benefit to the child.

But you have to decide your feelings. It’s really up to you and no one else can really tell you.

Ocean? What ocean?

Sorry, now that the obligatory King of the Hill reference is out of the way, you have every right to experience your dad's culture, and your mom has no business stopping you. If it causes problems in your relationship with her, that's 100% on her because she's being bull-headed and ridiculous.

[deleted]

[removed]

Your daughter is 4. I find it hard to believe she's that attached to her middle name.

You lose nothing if you change the girl's name, so what's the problem?

Did you find it helpful? Did issues get resolved?