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Bro she’s engaged. Leave her alone. She will probably ruin the marriage since she’s already reciprocating your feelings but just get away. She’s not marrying you she is marrying someone else.

Contradict no, but I make it clear that I think it's taboo. You want to misunderstand, sure but do it elsewhere. You don't want to give advice, you dont even want him to see me or speak to me. Yes I will have a good life and he will be in it too, so troll elsewhere because this is a serious post.

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Obviously fake. Nice try though

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This happened to a friend of mine. He got a lawyer to send her a registered letter demanding a paternity test. Until she complied, he would have nothing to do with her or the child. Remarkably, he never heard from her again.

Wow. I'm so sorry. He's absolutely screwed you. If you no longer want to be with him, separate and file for child support.

That sounds like a good idea! I talked to my mom and even though she doesn’t like me going, she knows she can’t stop me and asked me to pray to my sifus and ask for their understanding before I go. Thank you for your reply 😊

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Nothing - she’s engaged. Move on.

As a German I could never imagine dating someone who diminishes the abomination the holocaust was. There is nothing you can do if she truly believes she is better than others just because of her white skin. I don’t have the words to describe how wrong and awful she is. You decide if that is a deal breaker for you. But it certainly should be one.

My mental health is just fine thanks very much. If you read your original post and all the comments you’ve replied, you will see that you’ve constantly contradicted yourself. Have a good life.

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As great of a person as my husband is, his credit score indicates that he does not value paying things back on time or at all-mind you he has a 6 figure income, so there’s not much excuse why his credit is in the shape it is imo.

While I do believe we are in it for the long haul, I cannot risk giving him that money & something going left and him not paying me all the money back or not in the agreed time/amounts because something else came up. I could see the convo going like this “can I pay just $600 this month since the washing machine needs replacing?” with a familiar relationship, he would just expect for me to understand. I don’t want to deal with that.

But yes, for a person who has been responsible with their debtors & credit, this would be a worthwhile suggestion.

Have you ever successfully stopped a fit of yours? Is there anything that anyone can say or do to “bring you back down to Earth”?

It’s on you to notice your own body and reactions when you get upset so that you can minimize and work through it. How do you know that you have started “throwing a fit”? Make a list. What do you want your ideal reaction to be instead? Write it down. Make a plan.

The next time you are upset, use a code word or phrase that you planned in advance. Maybe you and your husband could agree on a word like “overwhelmed.” He could say, “Hey, OP, it sounds like you’re getting overwhelmed.” You can say, “I am feeling overwhelmed.” This is a sign for both of you to walk away right then and there. You can approach him to start the conversation again when you are calm. Feel yourself wanting to start to cry, yell, or shut down? Take another break. “I’m feeling overwhelmed again” and walk away for a breather. You said you get anxious and upset thinking that the person will leave. I think sitting down with your husband and talking out this solution (or another plan) could make you feel more at ease and confident that taking a break because you’re overwhelmed is not the same as leaving or stopping the conversation — it’s just a pause, not an end. :)

After all this time and the things he's said enough is enough! Where is your self respect and dignity? Send them both a break up text and move on with your life. He doesn't truly love you and is only with you until she wakes up. I personally would have left him when he told you both that he and her were a perfect match to. He wants her, he will screw her if she's willing and he's already told you, he doesn't allow you to be friends with her. What more do you need to know? He's a liar and manipulator and is controlling you and the situation until he gets what he wants. Leave the relationship with him and go live your life, he ISN'T GOING TO CHANGE, it's been 8 years of the same old crap and 8 years of you being second choice stop being a carnival prize! Leave them both behind

You foam at the mouth and troll too much. You need a lot of professional mental health help and you need to stop trolling my thread. You're insane if you think people can choose who they love. To each their own.

I think I have to agree with the stereotypical reddit answer: run, if you can do so safely.

It’s not your onus to change him, especially in this regard, and especially given your past trauma. You’ve been through enough.

Besides, if he really believes this, then he is supporting a belief that men are at least not completely at fault when they commit sexual assault or coercion and that he is just as potentially dangerous.

Hell, he might even be laying the psychological groundwork for something he plans on doing in the future. Trying to make you think that, when he does it, it’s not his fault and that he can’t help it.

That’s not good.

So run, OP. For your own safety and wellbeing.

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You should totally forget that she's a fucking racist asshole who believes in the righteousness of Hitler and his 'master race' because she's so fucking hot /s.

How about the next time you troll, you come up with a better story in a sub dedicated to giving advice on relationships instead of your pathetic rage bait story that makes you look like you have a grain of sand for a brain?

Fuck you for making me read your bullshit.

You are broken up, you are no longer obligated to make him feel good about anything and are free to do what you want