It didn’t at all!! I truly appreciate the advice!!

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I’m not confusing what I’ve read.

I’m sorry if that was coming off to strong or harsh

What’s his response?

Did he quit his job?

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Will do lol

No I don't, you are confusing what I said. He is the one telling me he loves me dearly. Yes we have to be together to spend time with each other, I didn't say together as a couple. I am now asking if I should remain friends with him since most replies here are saying we shouldn't. I don't see it being a problem being friends. He doesn't either, but he likes dropping hints.

Walk away.

If he believes it’s in the nature of men to be sexually forceful in a way that sometimes overrides consent, then you’re going to be in for issues down the road.

And it’s not just whether he does something to you. He (hopefully) would never do something again like that event from last year. But there’s so many other situations where this comes up. What if a friend is sexually assaulted and he starts victim blaming? What if you want to do more SA advocacy and he starts making more arguments that you disagree? What if, down the road, you have kids…what is he going to teach them then?

This problem doesn’t seem like something you’ll be able to resolve, and consent seems extremely important to you and not something that you want to “agree to disagree” with your partner on.

I know it’s just a superstition but I can’t help but feel like I’m going against my Chinese culture by doing this, but I know that I’m not just Chinese and I’ll have to find some kind of compromise within myself. I’ve tried to have her understand but I can’t see this getting to her. My dad isn’t perfect either but at least this will make him happy as my brother doesn’t want to go.

My mom and relatives rarely wear white tho, i can’t remember the last time they did, I remember everyone making a fuss when I wore a white headband with a white flower on my head a couple years ago. Thank you for your comment tho!

Ohhh that makes more sense. Infatuation can turn into feelings or obsession. Hopefully it just dies out. Just keep an eye on that infatuation of his so that the wrong feelings don’t die out.

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Okay. So first things first, you need to ask her to stop seeing/hanging out with that coworker because that relationship is inappropriate and will be destructive to any progress that your relationship may have. Next step, work for improvement. It's not going to happen overnight, but you and your gf need to have a sit down and come up with plans to have healthy communication and fix issues that bother your partner. If you find that you guys need some help, there are relationship councilors that could.

Example: My partner has told me that he doesn't like how fast I get annoyed or angry with him. That was a personal issue that I was receiving therapy for, and told him that I'll fix it. I wasn't perfect, and apologized when I messed up. But I made a plan with him and adjusted when need be. I told him that when I asked, if he could please leave me alone for a while so I had time to cool off. I know that my short fuse and how I handle my anger is an issue in our relationship, so I remove myself until I can come back level headed. Again a lot of mistakes but after a while of going to therapy and empathizing with my partner, that time grew smaller and I'm not frequently frustrated anymore.

She thinks you spend too much time on your phone? Sit down with her and tell her your sorry for making her feel that way. Tell her you'll fix that, and both of you can come up with plans to fix that. "Hey, whenever you feel like I'm spending too much time on my phone and not enough with you, let me know. Sometimes I'm mentally tired and just want a break, so maybe you and I could have some quiet time on our phones once in a while. I don't want you to feel like I don't appreciate you, so let's set up weekly dates."

Set up clear and reasonable boundaries within your relationship. Work on yourselves as individuals, and with eachother as a couple. I didn't mean for this to come off preachy, so I'm sorry if it did. I just somewhat relate to your scenario. Best of luck.

That's a separate discussion to have with him, completely separate from his loan repayments..

How much does he owe, and what was the loan for?

OP I'm urging you to please consider your options very carefully. Not too long ago a group of men in Singapore were arrested, all with a similar fetish who had been drugging their wives and videotaping other men r@ping them.The fact that your husband had already gone as far as to set this up with that guy without asking you is a huge red flag

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It's possible that's code for fear, self-doubt or lack of confidence.

You could see a marriage counsellor together who might be able to help him.

Thank you

Thank you & I agree it’s naggy. But his personal debt & credit will negatively impact our ability to buy a home, that’s my main concern. & the different answers.

I’m sorry, let me clarify, I am the one who talked to his (our) friends. I asked them if they knew anything about how he was feeling for her at the time and that’s what they said. What I meant was that he downplayed his emotions and feelings for her to them by saying “it’s was only infatuation and it was only for like two weeks” which now it seems he was either lying to himself on or idk what

Do you have borderline personality disorder? You need therapy and perhaps medication to take away the edge from those emotional outbursts

You’re completely contradicting everything you say. First, you want to stay friends with him, then you’re talking about love etc and saying you’re very happy TOGETHER and now asking advice on how to remain friends with him. I don’t think you know whether you’re coming or going 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

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