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No. He is not really religious and I have spoken before with him about this. He comes from a very relaxed, liberal-based family.

No it's not typical and it's a huge red flag. Do not marry him unless this is sorted out- it will not get better. There is nothing you can do to help except support him in seeking professional help. First, an honest conversation with his doctor and a thorough exam to check for physical issues. Could be hormonal, thyroid etc. Then he needs a therapist to sort this out. This is reddit so I can't make any conclusions. Could be anything from hormonal issues, to trauma, or he's uncertain about his sexual orientation. If he values your relationship he will seek help.

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Well for your sake I’m hoping it gets better. Based off experience it doesn’t. Don’t let him bring you down no matter what happens.

Be careful though. If he’s already done that and his friends helped him hide it he has probably done more. I’m sorry this is happening to you. You did mention he had feelings for her.

I have tried talking to him and he says he’s nervous on how it would feel. Granite he won’t let me try much with him so it’s hard for me to really show him what it’s going to feel like without us going forward with things.

The Narcissist's Prayer by Dayna Craig:

That didn't happen. And if it did, it wasn't that bad. And if it was, that's not a big deal. And if it is, that's not my fault. And if it was, I didn't mean it. And if I did, you deserved it.

He makes me feel nice. We haven't kissed anywhere other than on the cheeks and we like hugging. Hand holding would be normal since we like touching each other. I am not going to act on it.

I have had it, but he has not. But that was before he and I started going out together. That was almost 6 years ago when I had a partner in that perspective.

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Obviously you all don’t have as much quality time together as when you were 14, but you’re spending a lot of time together now. 4 hours a day is a good chunk, and I think it’s reasonable if she wants to be able to do some other things with her life.

I see two main options you could do. 1) you could pick up more hours with your photography so she can either not work or work part-time, and then she doesn’t have to choose between you or something else. And/or 2) you could plan ways to make your time more quality than just tv/phone/computer. You’ve got a good quantity of hours together, and if you did more meaningful stuff together 1-2 nights a week then she could go and have 1-2 nights where she is alone or does her own thing.

Everyone needs some space from their partner. It doesn’t mean she doesn’t love you or want to stay in a relationship, it just means that she has other things she also wants to do.

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He listens, he just says he doesn’t know what to do.

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I want to kiss him and hold his hand. Your words not mine.

That’s fair, we’re not the type of couple that fights and then has sex. We have both expressed that we don’t want it to be used as a bandaid. But, I think you’re right, I do think that we shouldn’t have talked about it but I unfortunately cannot rewrite the past. Thank you for the advice!! If you have any more, please feel free to share

Does he have strict/conservative beliefs against premarital sex? If not, it sounds like his fear of intimacy is something you should explore before marriage, and discuss in couples counseling. I too would find it odd unless its a religious belief thing.

Men are not all sex crazed idiots like society makes them out to be. Men can be asexual and be afraid of intimacy. However, 5 years with no intimacy is odd if they do not claim to be asexual. If that is a requirement of your relationship with them (which is perfectly fine) you need to seriously discuss this before getting married. Something is up - even if it is just fear of intimacy. Go to science based therapy together if you want to continue the relationship. Best of luck!

It really depends on how you handle your finances. It kind of sounds like you have separate finances.

I am currently not wanting to do that but I appreciate the advice. We have been friends for a long time which is why it feels like we have been together much longer. We are extremely compatible (currently, I know we’re young and still finding ourselves) and I see hope for the future or at least a long term relationship, this is a one-off thing

I dont think those are productive conversations to have somethings are better left unanswered but thats just my opinion. If you guys get in a fight and have sex later, do you wonder if he thinking of her instead of you? I just think those conversations dont get forgotten and if you guys stay together sometimes they get dragged out years later.

You are right! Unfortunately I live 1,000 miles away or I would definitely meet up with him

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It's ridiculous to even enter these dialogs.

a few months of relationship

you don't need therapy, get rid of it