She “knows how she caught him, so will not do that!” Really. I think she’s gone insane. It like she’s addicted.

now i have to ask

Are you sure your boyfriend is cheating on her?

this relationship may have been going on for a long time and the promotion you think her deserve in career may be the result of her relationship with your boss.

she is not a nice person and you are supporting cheating by pretending to be a bystander.

please find the evidence, inform hr. Both affect the lives of other people at work, and they may threaten the social lives of other people in the future.

the rest is up to your conscience, you can find excuses and watch silently.

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You need to grow up.

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I can’t disagree with you and all that is why I’m so worried. And I hadn’t said in my post but her parents would be horrified by this. I don’t know about therapy though or how to access it. I don’t think it’s really that common here (UK). I might be wrong and will try and look but I can’t drag her there.

Yes means yes. Suggesting an alternate plan is yes.

Every thing else is not yes. Which means no.

I can maintain a relationship with my brother and nephews (sorta) without her. She sometimes when she’s upset will isolate herself and make her boys stay in her room with her but my 14yo nephew just got a cellphone so I can be in contact with him that way!

Update: she blocked everyone in my brothers family. Aunts, uncles, cousins, and our parents. Weirdly she did not block my friends from home she has gone out with when I’m home

YOU are placing no accountability on his behavior. You have options. You are choosing not to use them.

Are you really equating height with maturity? Maybe youre perfect for him then lol

That’s the biggest red flag of all honesty, I put open communication at the top of my list of things I need in a relationship so someone just refusing to talk about an issue that affects us both is a no go to me personally

You can't control how other people will respond. Even without the depression she would likely take the break-up badly because no parent wants to see their child in pain. Plus she was probably relying on you to care for him once they are no longer able. Don't tell her about the break-up until after you have done it, that wouldn't be fair to your bf to find out from his mother that she knew. And seriously think about blocking all communication after the break-up so that they can't manipulate you back into a relationship. Plus it would give them false hope that you might change your mind. Good luck

Update: she blocked everyone in my brothers family. Aunts, uncles, cousins, and our parents. Weirdly she did not block my friends from home she has gone out with when I’m home. So it’s not just me

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Because truthfully idk her reason I’ve asked but it’s a question that always seems to end up unanswered

I would say that he has exhausted your trust in him, which is a glass support that once broken cannot easily be reconstructed. I presume you've pointed out to him that he has no revealed that your boundaries are obstructions to be worked around, rather than actual boundaries? Because his dishonesty is exactly that, a refusal to accept a boundary and see it as an obstruction that needs action to circumvent.

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I guess I just didn’t add that in the post but we do talk about it, and occasionally argue about it, but I have never been able to get a straightforward response on the situation no matter how straightforward I approach it.

Reintroduce yourself to your right/left hand, get one of those Fleshlight or similar toys, or take up running (when you feel urges go for a run).

I’m taking care of her I’m doing everything she asked. Yes I’m horny what man isn’t no I’m not trying to go fuck the other girl my wife told me to and I didn’t.

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So you STARTED the relationship already long distance?? Sounds like a dumb relationship that provides you stress and anxiety without any of the benefits relationships usually bring

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It’s been 8 years so I think it’s safe to say there’s something there and that’s the reason why he doesn’t want you both mixing with each other. If he’s not prepared to fix the situation, then end it. It’s so odd that 8 years down the line and he’s still trying to keep you separated from her. Red flags.