Recent comments in /f/relationship_advice

21beansinapot t1_j2dk2im wrote

Reply to [26F][26M]How should I tell (or should I at all) my severely depressed bf that I'm seeing someone else[20M] now? by [deleted]

Listen, it's not okay at all that your boyfriend has threatened to kill himself in the past when you have tried to end the relationship. No doubt, he needs help and you alone cannot fix him and shouldn't be responsible for doing so.

That being said, you are not innocent. I have no respect for cheaters, personally. I see zero excuse for it whatsoever. Even in this post. So yes. You need to break up with your boyfriend properly if you are going to move onto a romantic relationship with this other person. You are cheating on your boyfriend and he doesn't deserve that, just like you don't deserve to be trapped in a relationship out of the fear of him ending his life.

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Gosc101 t1_j2djtbs wrote

Reply to [23F] [23M] Am I a bad girlfreind? what do I do? by throwRA-act1

You have enough sensibility to know he is shit partner, yet feel inclined to "apologise" to him for not being fine with that? You care far too much, perhaps in general. It doesn't matter he had toxic background if he has no intention of correting his ways. He doesn't even see his mistakes. You don't owe him anything. His problems are his own.

You also lack assertiveness. Have you ever told him upfront that he is acting in a toxic way and your behaviour is normal in relationship not his? Now, being his therapist in general is not what I would advice to you , or anyone else. With that said, not everyone can be changed with kind words alone. Sometimes you need to be both brutally blunt and consistent in your behaviour to make someone change. Again, it's not for you to do, it would be harrowing and traumatising experience.

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Reply to (31F) (21M) Mutual Attraction? Dealing with a Major Crush On My Guy Friend by ldsgirl2022

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ThrowRAnjfkaehteai t1_j2djnhx wrote

Reply to comment by lifewith6cats in [26F][26M]How should I tell (or should I at all) my severely depressed bf that I'm seeing someone else[20M] now? by [deleted]

Thank you so much. I do know how to contact his mother I'm quite close to her. I have thought about telling her I wanted to end things with him but the thing is, she has severe depression too and she takes everything really bad and personally. She might feel responsible for some things, which i would hate

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lifewith6cats t1_j2djebd wrote

Reply to [26F][26M]How should I tell (or should I at all) my severely depressed bf that I'm seeing someone else[20M] now? by [deleted]

You are not responsible for someone else's depression and suicidal thoughts. You cannot be the only reason a person has to live. This is NOT on you if he decides to end his life.

You don't have to tell him you met someone new. That's irrelevant to the fact that you have wanted to end this relationship for awhile but he has emotionally blackmailed you into staying by threatening to end his life if you leave. Telling him you have already moved on is an unnecessary hurt.

End it cleanly, don't let him beg or threaten you into staying in a relationship that is going nowhere. If you have a way to contact his parents, maybe let them know so they can help support him through the break-up. Then block him on everything so he can't try to bully you back into a relationship. He will get through it. If he does choose to go through with his threats, please know that this is not on you.

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