Just tell him you feel uncomfortable. Y’all have to talk it out without any of you pointing fingers at each other

Yikes, what a mess I would never date someone that "trauma bonded with someone else". She loves the attention

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Make her go to court. If she’s just seeking attention, she won’t.

If the court orders a DNA test and the child is not his, then he’s done.

If the child is his, he will owe child support and will have the opportunity to come up with a court approved joint custody arrangement that protects him from his ex.

Going the legal route is the best way to keep maximum distance with the ex while looking out for the child’s needs.

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Listen to your gut. If this's a deal breaker then get out rn. No doubt that's a disgusting behavior on his part talking sexually about his spouse with his friend behind their back. Most women in your position would leave the relationship. Real talk it'd be extremely difficult to trust him after this. There's likely chance he might talk about you to his friends.. this time in secret.

Ok cool didn’t see that

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Being silent will never serve your marriage and this fantasy will keep happening…. Put a boundaries for this , this is just disrespectful for your privacy , a real man will never disrespect his wife privacy just to satisfy his fantasy , this is a reasons why most marriages ruins because of other significant fantasy .

If you care for her I don't think it's fair to keep her locked into a relationship with someone who is indifferent at best towards her. Especially not if she may want kids. And honestly our seems like you are doing worse and worse in this dynamic as well.

You could seek out therapy for yourself, either to sort out your feelings about her or generally working on your mental health. But if you realize the horse is dead it's no use to keep beating it

My problem is, even if he does "give up" the fantasy how can I trust him? The fact he discussed with his friend behind my back to sleep with me in detail makes me sick. The fact that his friend has "relieved himself" over me while I was working in the same office as thus friend and it all went on behind my back makes me sick.

I just want to know if there's even a chance to trust him after this.

Let’s talk about the age gap and how long u two been together, that’s the real story here lol

Also, I see you have tried to post something asking if you're in a toxic relationship...yes, yes, yes, completely and totally 100% without a doubt you are in a toxic, abusive relationship.

"I dont like this idea and dont feel comfortable with it."

That is your answer. There are millions of people who think the idea of strip club bachelor parties are antiquated and unnecessary.

If you aren't having sex workers at your party, he shouldn't at his.

Your husband is hell bent to break up his marriage. Most marriages do not survive after opening it and this one will be no different. The time to remain silent and let it slide has gone and now you be very upfront to shut down this fantasy of his once and for all. You have to put your foot down. The fact he discussed it with his friend about and how he's fantasizing you is both disgusting and intrusion of your privacy.

You have to give a stern warning if he doesn't give this up once and for all you'll have ko other chance but to leave the marriage.

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Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We'd like to take this time to remind users that:

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He's not really a good boyfriend if he refuses to acknowledge your breakup. Like, he knows you want to leave, but he's fine with manipulating you into staying?? He knows better than you what you want? He really is a creep.