are you going to actually end it?

Why wouldn't he be moving in with you? Shouldn't that be the test?

It proves his willingness to leave and whether you can make it together.

You sure you want to keep throwing time at this problem? How long would you give it until you make a decision?

Why can't you end it, go back to your country and stay there?

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the plan is to get me a place so I dont have to "deal" with his family and then see if things get better between us when I am not "in a bad mood" because of them.

I would just do one tradition each year. This year do the Laotian and next year do the Chinese. Tell your mom you’ve been immersed in Chinese culture so much and this year it’s Laotian culture’s turn.

As someone who dated a person very much like this, girl run. It does not get better and I didn't even realize how much of a drain on so many aspects of my life he was until we broke up.

The opposite of love is indifference. Breaking up is painful all around, but I think your girlfriend deserves the opportunity to be with someone who feels something for her rather than nothing at all.

I was afraid of that as well, he told me he was too depressed by the situation (me "ruining" the family) to bother looking for something else.

I really tried to explain it as logical as possible because I don't want to influence anyone and want to see what people think. I have been told for 2 years that all is my fault but its like I can see things he doesnt (or his family lies to him and play pretend) so I don't really know where is the truth into all that.

The only part of where he will live that you should be worried about is "not here". He sounds like a dead fish.

As for the pets, do they have a favorite? Perhaps where he goes (or where you go) won't allow pets. TBH, the pets should be the hardest part of the breakup, but don't let them stop you from taking out the trash!

[removed]

>He offered to help me get an apartment

You? If you break up?

Why can't you just go back to your country and stay there while ending this relationship?

I can read this without the "she kissed someone else" and see a break-up. You are no longer attracted to her in that way.

If you choose to break-up, don't mention cheating or anyone else. Just tell her you are not feeling for her the passion you once did, and you feel the relationship is tired. Would you rather be friends? Can you give her time to move out? The discussion doesn't need to end the living arrangement. You might stay roommates till the end of your current lease (or a month or two after the discussion).

[deleted]

[removed]

You're trying to make a crappy situation make logical sense when it doesn't. This man does not want to be with you. You might even want to make sure he's not hoping to be with someone else.

DNA test, the end

[removed]

Well, when thinking about breaking up, never take the other party into consideration. Obviously she will have to rent smaller, worse location etc etc. That's just life. She will figure it out.

2 things you need to think about:

1. If you're honest with yourself, do you want to break up or do you want to give it one more shot? Based on that question, you know what to do.

2. if it's the latter, think about what can possibly fix your feelings: did you fall out of love because of the cheating thing, or because you... just fell out of love as that can happen? Find the source of the issue, so you can work on it.

PS: honestly, I haven't been cheated on, so maybe I'm out of line here, but being bitter after 4 years, when she "only" kissed a guy and she confessed out of her own volition, that seems a bit extreme to me. Again, I can be wrong here and maybe cheating is cheating, no matter the 'gravity', but try to find inner peace with it, because how you are living emotionally right now, that's just not healthy.

I mostly wrote that down to avoid things like insults or comments like "you're stupid". I posted a similar post before (with a lot less details) and people said some pretty rough things.

Or he actually does have hallucinations

[removed]

I didnt really have many options (I couldnt find a place, I couldnt just go back to my country as it would almost automatically cancel my visa and it was just a no return solution that I couldnt do) so I just try to wait. I was mostly waiting for him to get a job which he should start next year. He offered to help me get an apartment and we will see how things go from there.

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Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We'd like to take this time to remind users that:

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• Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)

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