So you would want your dad to give up on you because at 11 you both had a fight and you left?

Then 10 years later, you still resented a childhood fight? Never trying to make up?

It’s fine. There isn’t a really unambiguous way to ask someone out via text that both makes your intent known and isn’t weird or creepy. “Do you want to go on a date?” is not how people talk. If she accepts, you have the opportunity to charm her and achieve your goal. But wanting it to be known going in - “I want her to know she is on a date” - is only meant to make it easier on you, to have that clarified on the front end. Don’t be like that. Get better at in-person relationship-building.

You don't seem to understand that some issues don't need to be moved past. I would understand your position if the father didn't also prove how little he actually cares about how OP feels, repeatedly, by making new accounts to get around being blocked.

I'm sorry, but if you ever have to make extra accounts to continue contacting someone who blocked you, you're automatically an asshole, and you're only proving that the person who blocked you was 100% correct in doing so.

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How else do they fix it?

Are you just trolling?

Your original comment was “you both handled it poorly,” and the gist of “get over it and just talk to him.”

So you’re really blaming him for his dad’s fault when he was 11 and now.

Your an AH. I’m not gonna reply anymore.

That changes nothing about a child being his. He needs to meet with the kid, go do the dna test himself

It's not totally unambiguous, but there's a strong hint there. However, not everyone who invites someone for coffee or lunch necessarily wants to get in the other person's pants.

You'll just have to gage her reaction. Has she answered yet? If she accepts your invitation, you can make it clearer during your "date". Just because she is willing to have coffee or lunch with you doesn't necessarily mean she wants to date you. If she acts like she likes your company, all signs point to her being interested. But you have to say it in a clearer way, eventually.

Hence the original comments.

It may not be the wise decision if this issue could be resolved.

Help what?

He doesn’t want a relationship with his dad. That is a perfectly fine decision.

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“I’m SO not angry I was dumped, he’s angry for dumping me”

Have you considered the possibility that you may need a… Rage Room? I could google it-admittedly it sounds self explanatory. But you sound like you’re struggling to intellectualize being rejected rather confront the negative feelings head-on.

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Lots of emotional responses.

It’s understandable but it doesn’t help long term.

OP is asking his dad to not contact him, to give him some time to figure out his feelings to know what he wants to say when they talk.

Violating that requests means there’s no point in talking because his behavior says it all. He is telling his son his feelings don’t matter. He his telling him that whatever happens between them has to be on the father’s terms. He’s telling him that he hasn’t changed. He earns it by not contacting him like requested.

You admitted that you have no experience with an situation like this. It’s not that simple. You love your dad and can’t understand not giving him the chance to talk with you about something. This isn’t about you. Your experience and viewpoint is not the one everyone else has.

Honestly your comments are ignorant and oblivious of the intense emotions that come along with situations like this, which are often tied up with childhood trauma.

It’s suggestive but not truly clear. Go meet them if they want, tell them you’re interested in getting to know them better and if the first meet is good, flat out ask “would you be open to a date on (pick an exact date)?”

That’s a direct question. They have three responses:

1.) No - not interested

2.) No - let’s pick another date cause I have plans

3.) Yes - they are interested

Now the goal is clear, they’re not in limbo and neither are you.

You need to pick a date in the question, so it removes any ambiguity.

Edit: a good life skill is learning to ask direct questions like above. But also, asking open ended questions.

For example:

Do you like “food A”? (Answer can be Yes or No, this isn’t going to illicit conversation from shy people)

Replace it with: I really love “food A”, it reminds me of (memory)… that makes me (feeling). What’s your favorite food?

Now there isn’t a “yes/no” that is appropriate to respond with. They’re going to answer with something you can build upon. Since you led with your feelings and a memory, it will make them more likely to dig in and qualify more upon your questions. After that, they’ll want to go back to your statements and inquire there or expand upon them.

This is a good way to keep conversation flowing.

Yea not even going to read past “ he holding her job over her head” lol man you are a cheater gold mine with how naive you are. Leave

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Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We'd like to take this time to remind users that:

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How does he earn it unless they talk?

None of this matters at all. The only thing that matters for him is a paternity test.