Genuine question: does she have a hyper-religious childhood history and /or abusive background?

She may be having sex dreams while genuinely not realizing what she's doing — both of you feel correct, but her childhood trauma naturally creates this absolute WALL between her subconscious mind and conscious actions, that won't allow her to accept what she's doing. By the time she's awake enough to talk, she's absolutely forgotten the dream.

If curious:

This is how some forms of PTSD present; while nightmares are usually just whimpering and heavily shuffling — don't think Hollywood, think "rigidity of sleep paralysis but some muscles work, then all of a sudden you gasp and open your eyes" — certain unconscious physical actions can become faster or slower based on the pace of the memory/dream. If someone hurt her in the past, she might be pushing someone away and then running — but since dreams aren't long-form memories, the dream ends, her "fists" relax, her fingers gradually unclench and end up in some highly sensitive zones, and that unconscious placement induces a pleasant sex dream a few hours later. This could very easily look like masturbating if you're not aware of historical trauma because she doesn't want to burden you with that knowledge. In addition, unexpected contact [again, based on trauma memories and body location of trauma] to certain sites can induce both a much more violent response ^((please see below)) and a much gentler one. But by the time she's conscious, she absolutely doesn't remember the movements (like people sleep talking), and may have absolutely forgotten the dream, or just remembers a terrible feeling of fear and being trapped. Now she becomes angry at YOU for making something up, waking her up, etc.

Regarding the physical contact thing: My wife is great at stopping my surgery-based nightmare, because I'll subconsciously smell her, feel her hair on my shoulder, etc., and that'll somehow orient my brain so my dream goes "oh, yeah, that's over, isn't it?". Then one time she tried waking me by wrapping her arm around my lower stomach to pull me close (instead of upper arm as usual), and her hand touched my surgical scars. I reflexively elbowed her... 18 months after we had just paid $32,000 for a sinusplasty/nose job combo, to fix a lifelong breathing issue. ^(I still hate myself for that). So your physical contact may have genuinely made her dreams so much better she slept well... Then slept better.

Just another perspective to consider, especially if the relationship has ZERO other red flags.

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Honestly I think you’re right but just seeing her today hit me with all those feelings again and I want to just forget about it

Wonderful name for that advice you throwing. I believe it’s hard to use that defense in some states and situations.

Maybe the state has laws that could allow for this situation.

Legal stuff aside (I’m not a lawyer and all reddit advice should be taken with a grain of searching for the Boston marathon bomber salt).

I say trust is gone so you would need to have a long conversation about how you feel and what kind of relationship you are looking for (a healthy honest one essentially). You can forgive her if you feel a true connection and she has not lied about anything else. You would have to work on your trust with her and she should understand that going forward since trust is not a given.

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I wouldn’t be able to forgive this. She could’ve put you in a bad position, legally. This shows she’s ok with lying if it means she will get her way, even if it could end up harming you.

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White lie, I would try and get over this but make sure she understood that any further lying in the relationship will not be tolerated.

Geez, what would this post look like if you did want to make it long?

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What do you mean

I think he's feeling some stuff he doesn't know how to process, and it's making him retreat into his gaming more. You said he came from a bad situation, which tells me that he's used to retreating into the escapism when overwhelmed. And he's receptive when you say something, which tells me he knows something is off. He may be used to only having personal space when gaming, and not knowing how to navigate living with someone else like this. Have you asked him if his therapist has any thoughts on it? He may need to bring it up, or invite you in for a session to talk about it. It also is okay to need to change meds if they stop working they way they need to, and in fact is very common at your age because of brain changes. I don't think this is a lost cause situation, and he can learn how to process things in a healthier way. Maybe he doesn't even know why he's doing it, what he's getting out of it, and is frustrated he can't figure it out to stop. My heart goes out to you, crying in loneliness is definitely the time to take it seriously. I hope he understands how much this is affecting you. He may need less together time than you do, from independent habits, and not be clear about much you feel isolated from him and miss him. Addiction is a disease. It doesn't make him a bad person. If you feel he's trying but struggling, I believe you. Some habits are really hard to unlearn and break, but it has to start somewhere. May I ask if you also are in therapy? It's important to be able to divest yourself of caretaking and focus on you sometimes. And a third party whose job is to get to know and understand what's going on with you may be beneficial.

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“i understand how this all sounds but you need to understand he is truly a good person.”

Being a good person doesn’t equal being a good partner. There are a lot of “good” people in the world who are bad partners, parents, coworkers, etc. We all have to expend effort in relationships and meet each other at a place of compromise. For you and most people his excessive gaming and time spent otherwise occupied is a deal breaker.

It’s okay to leave simply because you’re not getting what you need.

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You're allowed to be clueless until you're 18.

You sound like you hate her, just break up already

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Wow you can’t be this pathetic. Dude grow a backbone, your girl is actively cheating on you. You are being the perfect little weak beta and making justifications for her betraying you. Find your spine already, she is trash. Move on and ghost her. Get some self esteem already.

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If she’s going to lie about this, what else is she going to lie about. This is wild!