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You're a fucking weirdo. Let her masturbate In peace you freak

I realize that's the simplest approach but is there a way to avoid such a direct question? I don't want to put her in an awkward position with having to say no and possibly jeopardize the existing dynamic.

That’s what got me? Like, that just doesn’t seem plausible.

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She may not see it as masturbation. She may have been taught that it was just "scratching an itch". A lot of hyper religious people literally convince themselves of this in order to prevent eternal damnation due to sinning. She may feel intense shame. She may start to masturbate in her sleep, only waking when the big O hits. There are so many variables. Have you asked her to touch herself for your viewing pleasure? Maybe mutual masterbation will show her that it is, in fact masturbation? A lot of people feel intense shame while pleasuring themselves. If this is the case, only therapy can help this. Therapy and patience. Does she have past trauma surrounding sex? Maybe someone catching her when she was young, and telling her how horrible she was?

"Hey any chance I could take you on a date x night?" If she says no then you know and leave it at that. Only way to not make it weird.

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I’d hit her up tomorrow somewhere between 10a and noon.

It’s odd that she’s leave it up in the air like that but it’s worth a shot if you think there’s something there. I wouldnt reach out after that tho. It’s be confirmation that she wasn’t interested.

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Pulling together a few different thoughts in some of the replies here, but either one of two things is going on. Either she feels some shame about telling you about her masturbation habits, or it's happening in her sleep and she doesn't know.

Years ago, I dated someone that denied masterbating when we were early in the relationship. It took almost a year before she opened up about it, as well as some of her other sexual desires. She wasn't comfortable talking about it, and I learned later, the more I pushed her on it, the less likely she was to talk about it. Your GF may not be ready to share that part of herself with you yet (even if it does turn you on) and that is totally ok and within her rights. Yes, it then gets weird that she's doing it in bed next to you, as it's also fair to know if someone is performing a sexual act on themselves in the bed next to you.

As others noted here, she may have some sort of sexsomnia. If she hasn't had a long term partner that she sleeps next to before, this may not have come up before. This also may have just started happening more recently. Also, she may even have some suspicions around this, but has a lot of shame coming to terms with it and/or admitting it.

The issue is now on the table, so you need to address it, but very delicately and respectfully.

"Hey, GF. I want to talk about something a bit awkward. I know we've talked about the masterbation thing before, and I don't want to rehash the same thing over and over. That said, I feel like we need some clarity about this before we go forward, as it's become a weird thing hanging over our relationship. I want you to know I'm not judging you for anything, and nor do I want to put you in a position that is uncomfortable. That night, while we were in bed, you were masterbating. It's happened before as well. Now, it is totally possibly that you were doing this in your sleep and didn't not realize you were. This is a thing that some people do, and from what I've been reading up about it, they can't control it and often have no idea they are doing it. If that's the answer here, again, I'm not judging you for it nor should you be ashamed about it. You may want to talk with your doctor about it, as sexsomnia is a type of sleep disorder, and it would be good to not only get an answer as to what is going on here, but also to make sure it's not a sign of some larger sleep or health issue.

That said, if what's really happening is you are getting yourself off and just don't want to tell me about it, that's ok. You have your right to your privacy, and I completely respect that. However, I also have the right to not have someone perform a sexual act while sleeping next to me. I'm not going to ask you any more about it, but I must ask and insist that if you are going to, please don't do it while I'm sleeping or trying to sleep next to you. This whole thing has left me feeling very awkward, as I'm sure it has you, and I think the best thing would be to keep that solo time 100% solo. Again, I love you and I care about you, I respect you privacy, and most of all, I'm concerned for your health and our health together."

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Don’t marry this woman, your sex life is going to be non existent, and from this little tid bit of information she is likely to explore outside of you and her relationship

The fact you had to go this far for an answer being together is a big red flag

At some point you will realize it doesn't matter what kind of present you get, it is the fact you don't EVER get a present and if by chance you do, it was probably something last minute or something he was given and never would use.

Eventually, you will figure out that the lack of respect your boyfriend has for you by never giving you a gift is just the tip of the iceberg and then you will come out of the fog and see many other instances of his lack of respect for you as not only his girlfriend, but as a person.

Best of luck, maybe this will be the wakeup call you need to find a man who deserves you???

I also wonder if she has a kink where she likes to masturbate but in hiding if that makes sense or is just ashamed. My gf was but eventually I got her loosened up. When it comes to masturbation with us it's usually because the other didn't want sex so we just live with it but everyone is different and it can be hard to agree on things.

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I know people will say 'well maybe they're just not good at gift giving'.

That is a load of fucking bullshit. Everyone is a fantastic gift giver if they actually care about and value the person. Gift giving is a pretty fool proof way to determine where you stand with someone. And I think he's been very clear with you about how much he thinks you have.

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