Recent comments in /f/relationship_advice

daniel420texas t1_j2azs0j wrote

The only time i have seen someone flat out deny something so obvious , is with my narcissist ex. He would lie about stuff that i SAW him doing ! I questioned my sanity, until i got video proof of what he was denying , and he kept denying it. It was infuriating , and i dont blame you for feeling so frustrated ! Thats crazy. WHY would a person try to make you question your sanity?? Its actually mentally hurtful . WTF !!!! He even told me "does anybody in your family have schizophrenia?" knowing damn well he was lying. I think its extremely abusive.

idk ,, thats a big red flag, WHAT ELSE WILL SHE LIE ABOUT WITH NO REMORSE??? I wouldnt want to stay in a relationship with somebody who is capable of that. I suggest getting out of that relationship before it goes any further.

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Living-the-dream2525 t1_j2az5qk wrote

She is transfixed on only remembering the "Good Things" about this ex and not all of the garbage he put her thru. This happens a lot and can even be elevated to become a "Fantasy" as it appears she has done with this ex. Sadly, you can't do much about it, especially without showing you read her journal. Things usually crash and burn when people allow "Fantasies" to become reality. It may also mean the end of your marriage as well if it ever gets that far.

Basically, all you can do at this point is to live your best life with her. Make sure you do all the things a "Good Husband" should do to and for his wife and if she starts to "drift away" nip it in the bud immediately and find out what the problem is. Re-evaluating where your relationship is at this time might be a good thing to do as well plus possibly setting up some visits to a marriage counselor.

I probably would keep an eye out as to where this Ex is living and what he is doing as well since you don't want him to pop into the picture as that will make your life and relationship very difficult. Then again, depending on the situation with your marriage at this point, you may or may not want to invest any additional time and effort into it as you might not be happy with how things are right now, and perhaps neither is she. You have learned about some information you shouldn't have but that you cannot ignore.

I would also stay away from her journal unless she gives you a serious reason (disappearing for hours a day or night with no legit reason) or her permission to read it.

Since you have read it, you should be cautious but don't obsess over it. Not obsessing over it is going to be the really hard part but maybe that is karma's way of teaching you not to read someone else's journal.

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CrazyCatLadyForEva t1_j2aylbd wrote

If you do decide on sending them, which a lot of partners appreciate, then make sure they don’t show your face or other identifying features. At least in the beginning. It’s a good way to be a bit more comfortable and not have to fear negative repercussions.. Something like a picture of your boobs with an invitation to do a naked video call or something like that could break the ice.

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Void-splain t1_j2ay9j3 wrote

>she's always been weird about me locking doors to the point she ripped the lock off my own door. I remember she even unlocked my phone to secretly block a boy I was texting and in general has shamed me about topics surrounding stuff like this, not to mention SO MUCH other shit.

How long until you move out? Get out of there.

In the meantime, disable the camera permanently. You're not beholden to anything she recorded. If she brings anything up, it's a violation of your privacy. State that! "I'm not talking about this, you violated my privacy. Erase all that footage."

If you feel it's necessary, you could threaten legal action.

In the meantime keep your head down and focus on putting your time in to move out and get healthy boundaries

2

random_english_guy t1_j2axwwe wrote

Just fucking drop her. A relationship cannot exist on a foundation of lies. She lies despite being caught in the act, she lies despite having the evidence on her fucking fingers.

If she is too proud to admit it and would prefer you believe you're schizophrenic rather than admit to masturbating, just think of what she could do during a crisis, or what she has already done without you knowing. For a titanic metaphor, there's enough room for two on that door, but she'll push you away from it saying theres only room for her.

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ReallyEmbarrassed12 t1_j2axwhz wrote

I will turn it off but I don't know how to get to the footage, I'll have to mess around and check.

Thank you, you're right I should probably be a bit more assertive but I'm genuinely scared of her reaction to this particular situation. Anything else I would be able to be super honest with her but this is harder because I'm hoping I'm being paranoid but she can make me feel confused so I feel like I'm losing my mind at the moment lol

1