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You need. sit down conversation with her. Is there any chance she was still asleep?

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boo! Puns always deserve at least one boo. But you are also right.

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That's my guess. I think it's wet dream.

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When you trust someone implicitly you will absolutely convince yourself that you’re wrong in the face of h the their lies. Even if the thing they’re lying about is in plain sight. You don’t want that trust to be broken, so you convince yourself it’s you.

It doesn’t matter what the topic is, a lie is a lie. She made a statement and was lying about it. Even worse, she’s angry that he is masturbating—so i can see how he’d convince himself he’s wrong.

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Tell her essentially what you just told us. Hell, show her the post if you want.

"I love you for a million reasons and not just sex. You don't have to do anything with me you don't feel like, and that includes sex or sexts. I love when we're together and I love getting dirty pictures but I just want you to understand that those things aren't requirements for me and if there's ever a day you're not feeling it don't feel forced, I promise it's cool."

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>My plan is to text them this: "Please stop contacting me until you have both been regularly attending therapy with a licensed counselor who is NOT a Christian therapist or a pastor. Once you have been in counseling for at least 3 months, then we can talk about doing a joint session with your counselor over Zoom. If you continue to contact me without doing this, I will block your numbers."

>Do you think this is a good idea?

No.

>Or am I wasting my time?

You're doing worse than wasting your time, you're inviting them in to hurt you again. They want the interaction. They want you to text them so they can gaslight you about your childhood some more and abuse you further in the process. They will never go to therapy, and even if by some miracle they did they would learn nothing aside from a better vocabulary to use to pick at you.

It's time to pull this bandaid off: you will never have a healthy relationship with your parents, because they are bad people. You got saddled with a couple of duds. It's terrible and it happens a lot and there's only one fix for it, and that fix is going completely no contact. I understand the intent of your proposed message, but it won't accomplish anything you want and just invite more harassment.

You end this by blocking them on everything and moving on with your life. There is no magical combination of words that you or anyone else can say to them that will get them to recognize what they did to you was wrong and become better people.

>Should I just keep doing no contact. I want them to leave me alone, but I also would like them to get better so I can have parents that love me. I don't know. Abuse sucks.

I'm sorry man, but they are not going to get better and if you want a family that loves you you're going to need to build it yourself. These two will never treat you right or acknowledge their failings. No contact is the healthiest thing for you, stay strong.

So already cheating a month in....your relationship sounds promising😑

Is it possible she is doing this in her sleep? Maybe next time record it and show it to her? I know that’s weird to do but…this whole situation is weird.

So you've been dating for a month, she asked you to be exclusive yet she went on a date with another guy. I can't really see that as anything else than cheating. I'd cut my losses since it's only a month in.

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I would probably break up if my fiancé was doing something like this.

Let go of this fight, OP. You are part of the problem. As heartbreaking as it is, you can't fix him.

You might do some reading on codependency and growing up in a codependent family. Learning about loving detatchment is the best thing you can do.

I'm sorry, OP. It's clear that you love your brother very much.

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Been NC with my parents for 2.5 years.

Blocked them, changed my number, moved on.

One of them emailed me once. I printed out her email and kept it as a reminder of why I'm NC with her. But I never replied. No matter how many times they tried to contact me and what avenues they used, I never replied.

Eventually they stopped altogether.

ANY reply is going to make them continue, bc now they know if they pester you hard enough they'll get a response out of you.

Don't respond.

>She's horny, but not for you. I'm sure it sucks, but that's how it looks from this guy's view
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>Or maybe those, "mutual orgasms," aren't so mutual and she has to get herself off? 🤷 They need to have an uncomfortable but necessary conversation.

Or she just wants to masturbate because she doesn't have to worry about making sure another person is pleased sexually and she can just get off and then sleep?

Masturbation and Sex are not interchangeable. You can be in the mood for one and not the other.

Also, she is being super shitty about it either way.

I'm so sorry. I'm also NC with my "father". He is my biological sperm donor and he is still, to this day, married to my mom, but I can't say father to a man that only abused me, left me to starve if my mom wasn't around to give me food, never once in his life cared for me, and when I said to him "I love you" he would reply listing all the reason why he did not love me and why it was impossible for a singular person on Earth to ever love me, mind you, I stopped saying that to him when I was 6 years old.

As an adult, I tried, and tried, and tried to make him understand that everything he did was not fine, and he would blame me or cry as if he was the victim. So I went NC 7 years ago but I'm 47 years old, I was 40 when I finally decided to go from LC to NC. And my therapist put it clearly, she told me "we do not have the parents we wish to have had, we have the parents we had". My "father" never loved me. I can't make him love me.

I don't know if your parents love you, but if they do, they don't know what love is or how to express it, and therapy won't solve it for them because it's not a magical cure. People get better in therapy because they start therapy because they want to, and they want to work on themselves. Usually it doesn't work when other people send people to therapy, unless they are first able to see that something is wrong and they want to make a genuine attempt at self reflection. If someone goes to therapy against their will, they will lie to the therapist or in general don't pay attention to whatever the therapist says. It's a waste of time to send them to therapy. If you're not in therapy yourself, you should try it, it will help you find methods for YOU to cope with the fact that you didn't have the loving parents you wanted to have, you have the human, flawed parents who abused you, that you happen to have. I send you a big hug.