Just talk to her. Trying to guess what she is thinking isn’t going to work. Just talk. Tell her how YOU feel. Spend time together doing things you both enjoy. Time together and communication is the key.

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She's horny, but not for you. I'm sure it sucks, but that's how it looks from this guy's view

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Dude. No.

>She’s still a good woman

No she is not. Good women don't throw things at others, especially ones they supposedly love. Break up, take time to heal and for goodness sake, take your time to get to know someone before moving in together.

When you’re in an 8 year relationship trust goes a long way, I took her word for it and genuinely did not believe she was masturbating.

So yes, I was having a battle with myself trying to convince myself she wasn’t masturbating because I took her word for it. So my mind is telling me one thing but her word is very strong in this relationship and I do not want to just disregard the trust we’ve built. So I’m having an internal battle trying to work this out in my mind. After all it is just shifting and shaking, it could be anything or my mind is making the noises/feeling up especially since my heart is thumping like crazy when this happens. But today I learned that wasn’t the case thankfully.

I don’t expect you to understand, but hopefully this provides insight.

This is so bizarre.

I know some people are ashamed of masturbating. I know why. But dude you literally caught her with her hand in the cookie jar and she denied it to the point that you think you're developing a mental illness.

That is beyond concerning. That is giant red flag waving in the wind while nuclear explosions go off in the background.

And she's choosing this as her hill to die on? She's willing to risk her relationship over this?

You said this behavior aligns with other narcissistic traits. If this is true and it's enough for you to think you need to end it, then end it.

I personally would not marry anyone who gaslights me, especially over sex.

You definitely need to have a sit down talk about how the lies are affecting your mental health and tbh probably your ability to trust her also. Its weird she is lying about it. Maybe she is embarrassed which would make some sense as most women are not as open about masturbating as men are but at the point that it is making you feel insane that embarrassment is not worth hiding this over.

I find it hard to believe this really impacted your mental health. You knew she was masturbating; you were just frustrated that she lied about it.

I'd be much more concerned about her profound shame surrounding masturbatoon than anything else. You need to get to the bottom of that, with the help of a therapist.

>She has a super high drive

You might see an overall improvement by matching it.

It's simple to have a sexual dynamic and still treat someone with respect.

Sit down and talk to her and tell her she needs to stop gaslighting you. If she can't be honest then that's a huge issue.

You've *LITERALLY* caught her in the act.

The only extra step you could do is install a hidden camera and that's... problematic on it's own. But that would be "look. you can't deny this." to a new level - but that would be over the line to be honest for something you ALREADY know to be true.

I don't know if I'd say end the relationship but counseling or something to bring out that yes, she is in fact doing this and it's affecting your relationship to be lying about it.

No, she is not a good woman. She is a violent monster. This is going to escalate and she is going to try to kill you. That is what abusers do.

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No she is the opposite of manipulative. She genuinely has been treated like shit. She has a super high drive, just don't want her feeling like thats all I want yk

>Once she broke down crying because she thought I was upset that she didn't want to have sex one day

That seems a little 'more' than 'just' a random breakdown, a lot of people will try to emotionally manipulate you in certain ways.

Maybe she simply has a higher drive and wants more?

My GF enjoys sending shower snaps, they're nice to look at and she feels sexy taking them. They're not a required thing and I don't explicitly ask for them but it's a positive dynamic.

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Bro. Stop.

Her friend didn’t force her to do anything.

Her friend was taking her lead.

I fail to understand what's so great about this woman in the first place. She was having an emotional affair with you. Have you ever heard that saying, "If they'll cheat with you, they'll cheat on you."?

Move on. Keep it civil at work. But move the fuck on. Find someone to date who doesn't think it's ok to have an inappropriate relationship with a workmate while they have a partner sitting at home.

ETA: Dating coworkers in almost never a good idea.

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An argument could be made that she emotional cheated on her boyfriend (really dude? You were talking about the things you wanted to do to each other. Who the fuck does that as regular banter with a coworker? C'mon. You wanted her so bad that you didn't care she had a boyfriend because she told you she had 'emotionally checked out' and was in it for 'the lease'. Are you trying to convince reddit of that or yourself?). Be better than that. Don't entangle yourself with people who are already in relationships. Couples break up and figure out shared leases all of the time. If she's even to be believed...

Distance yourself from her. Cut the 'friendly banter'. Be better. Next time you have a crush on someone in a relationship, make the choice to cut that shit off.

Quite a big coincidence that she asked you about the sexual tension between you, conveniently broke up, fucked you, then had to get back home...

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I’m not asking whether I should stay with him or not, I’m asking how I can call his lies out without upsetting him too much. We both want to make it work and I already spoke to him about him getting tired. He’s in good shape, just has bad stamina and has issues wearing condoms. He’ll wear them for me though. I want to try to talk it out 1 last time before I end things