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I don't think it's a matter or trust, I think that it's a lack of communication and expressing your expectations. Had he said that he got a full panel done and he didn't, that would be a trust issue. He never said that he got a full panel so it is a communication on your end and lack of taking control of what people insert into your body. Don't be naive and assume that people will do something that you did not ask them to do

The moral of the story for you would be to communication your expectations.

Keep it civil and professional. Don’t pursue anything further as she’s given strong indication that this is over. If you do try to push it, she could reach out to HR. If she did lie about her being broken up, nothing stopping her from spinning her own tale of this to make you look like the bad guy.

I didn’t ask him to, I told him I was doing it and sadly decided to trust he would, especially considering I spent a total of $2K to visit him and he claims to care deeply for me. The moral of the story is don’t trust anyone ever

That sounds like it. I'm not even sure what direction to take this thing.

No, we are at the same level

You stop joking around, you stop being friendly, you stop going places together even if it's just for an after work drink.

You keep it 100% professional. Civil, but distant. And don't shit where you eat anymore.

Are you in a higher position than her?
Because I can see Hr on this

She might have not even officially ended the relationship. She just said that so you’d hookup with her. She thought the grass was greener, but it turns out it wasn’t and regretted it.

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> She told me that her friend kinda forced her to date this guy because she needed to get out more

Then I guess she’s not the one at fault here /s.

Nah that’s a bullshit excuse. I understand wanting validation, but going on a date to get it?

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Did you ask him to get a blood and urine test as well? The typical screening when I go to the OBGYN is not blood and urine so, maybe he thought he was fine.

Also a lot of people have some form of herpes so I don't think that your life is over.

For future reference, I always get tested together and look at results before unprotected sex. Maybe that's something that you could try in the future.

Yep, that’s the gold standard test. Takes a day or two to get the results. Hopefully they gave you some lidocaine gel? If not? You can get it at the pharmacy. And they hopefully started you on an antiviral?

Your life isn’t over. There are meds available to take as needed if you feel an episode come on or that you can take all the time if you have frequent flares.

When you don’t have a lesion, you’re very unlikely to transmit to someone else. Some people have one flare and never again or very rarely.

Many people are carriers by middle adulthood.

It’s just real important to know that a condom won’t necessarily cover affected areas so that’s no guarantee.

The fact that my future dating pool is now limited because of a guy who I saw a future with an really care for is devastating

My doctor took a swab sample from the lesion, so I made sure to test for HSV2 specifically. Thank you for your reply, I’m freaking out and feel like my life is over

Keep in mind that most standard STI tests do not screen for HSV2 (genital herpes) or HPV (genital warts). And you can get both even if you use a condom. And you can be infected and asymptomatic for years or forever.

What you’re describing sounds like HSV2. It’s possible that he gave it to you but it’s also possible that you’ve had it for some time.

I (44F) had a flare up last summer and it scared the crap out of me. Been with same partner for years, can assure you he hasn’t cheated, he hadn’t ever had a flare. I probably had it for years and just didn’t have an episode til my immune system was low.

Wait for the test results and then have a calm discussion.

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