Recent comments in /f/relationship_advice

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1

Gosc101 t1_iyfelul wrote

Well that calls for thorough inquiry. She really should be aware how it makes her look like, so I hope if you do decide to ask more about in the future she will indulge your curiosity. The problem assuming she has told you truth then the question why was she engaged? There is certainly a reason for that some kind of emotional problem that only made her reconsider things when she was engaged.

Otherwise can't tell anything more, because we lack information.

1

Altruistic_Passion51 t1_iyfeim9 wrote

How are these red flags? Sounds like she wanted to be respected and not just there for looks. She's 25, maybe she had the mindset that those "lustful" days would end but they didn't do she said no. She also has the dude blocked so again, how is that a red flag?

If you have doubts, the answer is simple: don't propose to her

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AutoModerator t1_iyfefoh wrote

Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We'd like to take this time to remind users that:

  • We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors

  • Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)

  • No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. This is not an all-inclusive list.

  • All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.

  • What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. This is not an all-inclusive list.

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1

friednuts OP t1_iyfefbq wrote

Regarding how long the secret can last- I have asked her that too, and she said that's a future problem, not right now, because "we're comfortable where we are now".

I have said something along those lines about the consideration of others versus me. She simply retorts with saying the same thing back- why should I care about other people knowing when the relationship is just me and her. She does treat me like her boyfriend when we're not around friends.

1

ConvivialKat t1_iyfeawb wrote

Yes, but that doesn't make your partner your next of kin. It can make them the executor of your estate if you die, but has no protections if you are still alive. That takes a power of attorney and an advanced Healthcare directive. Not cheap.

ETA: Also Domestic partnerships aren't recognized in many states. This is why gay partners want the right to legally marry.

7

queensnarkybitch t1_iyfe9zc wrote

I'd recommend getting therapy for yourself. It will shed light on your relationship's strengths and weaknesses and then help you figure out the next steps. You and your wife are a team and while I don't agree with baseless yelling and aggression, you both play a role in all the good and bad. Hopefully, she could join you at some point and address her role in things as well.

10

Foreign_Wolverine_47 t1_iyfe7ck wrote

I think you didn't get all your ducks in a row before you pulled the trigger. You should have looked through his phone to confirm. Any asshole can use a picture of your partner, create a tinder account to catfish someone or to hurt him or you. I think dumping him was the right move for the gaslighting but the jury is out on the cheating.

2