This is just an endless paradox

Thinking this way, you will never spend money in anticipation of some hypothetical better opportunity down the line

I was in a similar position. I purchased my house before we got together. I made sure I paid every single payment directly from my own money and account so he would have no claim on it.

This veers into relationship territory vs personal finance, but is part of the reason they are splitting after fostering + 20 years together because she wanted kids and he didn't? Because that is 1000% why I left mine after the same time frame. I paid a very expensive lawyer a lot of money to make sure I got out with all of my assets. (I did have a heart though. I rented him a place for a year and paid all the utilities so he had somewhere to go. After that it was on him to get a job and figure life out)

Anyhoo. The point is. Stepmom will likely pay an expensive lawyer to preserve as much of her wealth as she can. Dad is going to NEED a good lawyer if he hopes to come out of this in decent shape. She seems to have laid a good groundwork to protect her assets.

It is not uncommon for some places/landlords to require a fill month’s rent up front, and then your second month’s rent is the prorated amount from your first month. So you paid a full $600 for Feb 13-28. Then on March 1st you will owe the prorated amount from February only.

>but having the money later gives you options

Part of "Any other savings goals"

What aspects of your QoL do you feel is lacking?

Why are you saving?

What are your financial goals?

How does addressing your current QoL issues affect your financial goals?

No specific books, but savings is more about other goals and not specific to money - start with the other goals and their timelines, costs, etc and work backward from there.

"I need $1M in 20 years so that I can retire..." Or something like that. (You'll need to figure out your own numbers, but you could start with 30x what you expect to spend). Or shorter term goals "I need $x for a house down payment ..."

They might not be goals at the time, but having the money later gives you options that don't exist if you think the way you described.

its perfect. set it, fund it, forget it

You may find these links helpful:

• Retirement Accounts
• "How to handle $"

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>up for an earlier retirement,

Part of "Retirement goals"

>bigger down payment for a house

Part of "Short-to-medium term expenditure goals"

>larger inheritance for their kids,

Part of "Any other savings goals"

You realize people get to decide their own goals, right?

Why would you hoard money with no purpose?

Its a tool, not a collectable

Unhealthy when you're afraid to spend.

They have a 'baby' so I'm thinking under 2, and wife is pregnant. They're looking at at least 6 years of childcare, 3 with 2 kids. Childcare will be hefty.

$5 per day per person is your bad month? Come on now.

I suppose I could do that if it was absolutely necessary. That's maybe $1 for breakfast, $1.50 for lunch and $2.50 for dinner. No snacking, definitely no drinks except water, certainly no alcohol. That's extremely tight. Especially in 2023 and if you don't live somewhere extremely cheap.

This response really hit me. You’re right. Hard to set reasonable savings goals for myself though. Any recommendations on books or other sources?

This is terrible advice.

They're setting themselves up for an earlier retirement, bigger down payment for a house, larger inheritance for their kids, or many other things down the road rather than just burning through everything that isn't earmarked as savings.

If you're changing payer brands or payer products, of any dependency, you can expect any prior deducting, co-somethings, or OOPing achievement to reset to $0 achieved.

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Withholdings are “pay as you go”. Based on how you fill out your W4 regarding dependents and other income, your employer withholds a certain amount of taxes from each paycheck and sends it to the government. Withholdings are just an estimate.

After the year is over when you go to file your taxes, you settle up. Too much withheld, you get a refund. Too little withheld, you owe more.

Yes, the government uses your tax money for infrastructure, social programs, services, schools, and anything else the government provides. They don’t invest it as much as spend it.

Saving money for the sake of saving money is unhealthy. If you're already meeting your:

• Rainy day fund goals
• Retirement goal
• Short-to-medium term expenditure goals
• Any other savings goals

...then continuing to save beyond that seems like it's pointless unless you literally can't think of anything to do with the money.

They hate either, yes. Her worst fear is giving any money to him... I agree with you! 💯, but her thought process does not

$700/mo on food for 3 people is a $175 shopping trip weekly. That's not unreasonable for three people who don't want to be eating like rats, especially with grocery prices the way they are.

My wife and I spend about $150/week on groceries. We buy a lot of fresh, organic foods and meats, but nothing exactly "over the top".

This is a weird number to cling to in this post.

All things being equal, it's OK to treat yourself. If the financial goals are met and you are in position, go ahead and plan rewards for yourself.

Only you can really figure out what makes sense for you.

> I feel like I am sacrificing quality of life

Can you try to put numbers on that feeling, how much would you have to spend to increase your quality of life by how much?

> What is a healthy balance?

Healthy is whatever you're comfortable with, which doesn't seem to be the case at the moment.

This isn’t going to be popular but don’t pay it. It will eventually go to collections and you’ll be able to settle for much less.