Only money could compel someone to touch that fairy tale troll.

You can shit, you just can't wipe.

I mean, they jiggle

You never go full Florida.

This is like a skit. A really good skit. Perfectly acted. And the final quote. Chef's kiss. Best supporting actor.

And she sounds just like my goddamned f---ing sister in law.

edit: I mean, if you wrote and acted this, and showed it to the execs at Netflix, you'd get series on the spot.

Banks need experts to spot clients committing financial crimes. What's oniony about that?

Haha, he doesn't know how to use the 3 seashells. Hahahhaha.. I can see how that would be confusing

Exactly... SVB is a giant fck up, but this has nothing to do with what happened. It's click bait for ppl that don't know shit.

Depending on what you mean specifically when you say"fraud", that's a very small part to this role and tbh, this role most likely doesn't even touch that part as I don't see transaction monitoring as part of the jd.

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That’s how he shaves his ass too

SVB issued credit cards, it would be normal for a bank to have that kind of a role. They need to vigilant against fraud.

Why bother with a risk management team when they can go straight to hiring the financial crimes manager? /s

My buddy hooked up with a chick that had implants. I asked how it was and he said “If they’re real enough to put in my hand, they’re real enough for me.”

So, fake, fake tiddies?

That last line of the into… we live in a world of idiots.

Edit: the line said ‘she worked at the Woke bank SVB as it collapsed’. The page has since been edited to remove that.

They didn’t have a risk management officer between April 2022 and January 2023.

Edit: and the risk officer they eventually hired turned out to be ex-Deutsche Bank.

~huuyeah~

Essentially yes. They were over-invested in “safe” investments that lost lots of value when interest rates stated climbing.

Didn't they also have a pile of government bonds, but from the pandemic, so no one wants them?

Isn't every day "sugar daddy and mommy appreciation day" ? I though that was kinda the entire point.

You have an authority on that? Cause google says otherwise. Curious where your information is coming from.

Edit: the lack of an appointed “risk management chief” does not mean SVB did not have a risk management team. It had one. That team just did not have a full officer running it. Guess these distinctions are lost on people around here. Nothing new.

Preventing them. It's basically the fraud department, again preventing - not committing.

They didn’t have a risk management team, which could have prevented that

another piece of the puzzle falls into the conservative tilt in Florida, we have all your boomer meemaws and peppeps that wanna get laid. thanks a lot, NY and NJ.

Problem with SVB was that they were too cautious. They had a massive portfolio of low interest real estate mortgages and were left holding the bag when interest rates climbed. But this is Reddit and what really happened doesn’t matter.