Recent comments in /f/nottheonion
Woodpeckinpah123 t1_jasfk93 wrote
Reply to comment by getbehindmebeetus in National Park Service says ‘never push a slower friend down’ when escaping a bear by TheRealMisterNatural
Friend? Falling. Me? Running. Bear? Chowing. Me? Mourning.
[deleted] t1_jasey04 wrote
Reply to comment by Strykerz3r0 in National Park Service says ‘never push a slower friend down’ when escaping a bear by TheRealMisterNatural
I didn't realize everything on Reddit was a meme...
Strykerz3r0 t1_jases4v wrote
Reply to comment by [deleted] in National Park Service says ‘never push a slower friend down’ when escaping a bear by TheRealMisterNatural
Didn't see Jurassic Park, huh?
series_hybrid t1_jasepfh wrote
Reply to comment by DrunkenOlympian in La. woman accused of using aunt’s debit card for 136 DoorDash orders held on $18 million bond by pete1729
Plus, the "fine" they paid was only a small percentage of their profits.
I emember a quote about "if the punishment for a crime is a fine, then it is only a punishment for the poor"
Jmostran t1_jasekjn wrote
Reply to National Park Service says ‘never push a slower friend down’ when escaping a bear by TheRealMisterNatural
Well duh. Pushing your friend down is gonna take precious time away from escaping a bear. The bear will catch your slower friend if you push them down or not regardless
ringobob t1_jasdl30 wrote
Reply to comment by hypatiatextprotocol in Premier 'astonished' at B.C. firm's claim it got Health Canada approval to make and sell cocaine by IHOP_007
Who would assume otherwise??
[deleted] t1_jasct3k wrote
dubiousadvocate t1_jasbr0f wrote
Reply to Molson Coors appeals call to discontinue ad claim of 'beer shouldn't taste like water' by BostonBrewing
Thirty minutes after I drink a Bud I have a headache.
SomeIndividual1 t1_jasb5im wrote
Reply to National Park Service says ‘never push a slower friend down’ when escaping a bear by TheRealMisterNatural
that is how you get manslaughter, you already out run them
glue715 t1_jasb3r1 wrote
Reply to comment by Splyce123 in Premier 'astonished' at B.C. firm's claim it got Health Canada approval to make and sell cocaine by IHOP_007
Prohibition doesn’t work- at all…
Shot-Spray5935 t1_jas9kn5 wrote
Reply to comment by flossymcwobblestein in National Park Service says ‘never push a slower friend down’ when escaping a bear by TheRealMisterNatural
Doesn't matter. That piece of advice is useless. When push come to shove you shove your friend/wife/kid/partner towards the bear and run. It's a wild world baby.
MadeInThe t1_jas9bsh wrote
Reply to comment by Chickentrap in National Park Service says ‘never push a slower friend down’ when escaping a bear by TheRealMisterNatural
Actually yeah if you and your friend are dumb and actually shoot each other in a way that kills each other first. Then that’s better than being eatin alive by a bear.
tee142002 t1_jas9amc wrote
Reply to La. woman accused of using aunt’s debit card for 136 DoorDash orders held on $18 million bond by pete1729
Bunch of fuckers in here didn't even read the article. It literally says the following:
>Travis also said that while $18 million is a lofty number, it is not the official bond set by a judge. Prior to a bond hearing, crimes have preset bond figures and the preset bond for each one of her counts is $25,000. The $18 million number is a cumulative total amount based on the preset figure set for the over 800 counts she faces.
Once she has an actual bond hearing, it'll probably be a few thousand
Dirk_The_Cowardly t1_jas91mt wrote
Reply to comment by TheRealMisterNatural in National Park Service says ‘never push a slower friend down’ when escaping a bear by TheRealMisterNatural
Feed them cocaine!
Mitthrawnuruo t1_jas8wnu wrote
Reply to comment by RampantRooster in Molson Coors appeals call to discontinue ad claim of 'beer shouldn't taste like water' by BostonBrewing
Someone doesn’t live in the Yingling distribution zone.
Coors and Budweiser absolutely do not count has lagers. Or beer.
djsoren19 t1_jas8j3s wrote
Reply to National Park Service says ‘never push a slower friend down’ when escaping a bear by TheRealMisterNatural
If there's a group of you, you have a much better chance of turning around, making yourself look large, and standing your ground. Bears know that fleeing animals are easy prey, but pack that stands together is not worth the trouble.
slackfrop t1_jas72xq wrote
Reply to comment by 1SamSparks in Perth museum naming poll chooses 'Perth Museum' by must_go
Doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue.
Spork-in-Your-Rye t1_jas720w wrote
MW2 was on point with the Favela map
SpaceLemming t1_jas6xr6 wrote
TheManWhoHasThePlan t1_jas6djd wrote
Reply to comment by firemonkeywoman in Premier 'astonished' at B.C. firm's claim it got Health Canada approval to make and sell cocaine by IHOP_007
Yeah. I had sinus surgery, and they used cocaine on me as well. I was asleep and only knew because the nurse told me when I woke up.
Mitthrawnuruo t1_jas677l wrote
Reply to National Park Service says ‘never push a slower friend down’ when escaping a bear by TheRealMisterNatural
This violates decades of education I have been provided.
SnowProkt22 t1_jas63up wrote
An article about fashion that doesn't contain a single picture? How insightful.
SableShrike t1_jas61og wrote
Reply to comment by hypatiatextprotocol in Premier 'astonished' at B.C. firm's claim it got Health Canada approval to make and sell cocaine by IHOP_007
“Awww, dang it man…” - Dr. Rockso
utsuriga t1_jas5vb1 wrote
Reply to Pablo Escobar's "cocaine hippos" won't stop multiplying. Colombia wants to move dozens of them out of the country. by [deleted]
They might as well start breeding and eating them, at this point... I mean, why not? It's not like humans have no history eating hippos, quite the opposite.
PasTypique t1_jasfpkc wrote
Reply to comment by monogreenforthewin in La. woman accused of using aunt’s debit card for 136 DoorDash orders held on $18 million bond by pete1729
Guess what happens if you're suspected of selling **gasp** cigarettes on the street.