Recent comments in /f/nottheonion
KesonaFyren t1_j9ua5l5 wrote
Reply to comment by AmericanSheep16 in Man charged after eating stolen chips dropped by thief, police say by jab116
It is self-absorbed when they didn't ask. Nothing you said was wrong either, just irrelevant.
Although....it's usually the local cops that execute unarmed people without trial, not the feds. Feds don't do traffic stops or patrol your neighborhood.
mriabtsev t1_j9ua4t5 wrote
Reply to comment by ShrekJohnson27 in Face of man banned from every women's toilets in UK by Elsa87
🥱
williamwchuang t1_j9u9uo7 wrote
Reply to comment by Mitthrawnuruo in Teen winds up in ambulance after trying to carjack DC grandma on her way to chemo: MPD by Alaishana
>Grandma showed 7News her scar from the teen snatching her keys. The
police report said the would-be-carjacker left the scene in an
ambulance, and Grandma said the teen is now in lockup."And they
said it’s a wonder he wasn’t dead," she said. "On 22nd Street? He must
didn’t know where he was. Nobody has seen this boy before."
bubba7557 t1_j9u9tz7 wrote
Reply to comment by cofclabman in Chemical pollution could be increasing average penis length, scientists warn by jedikraken
Trump was seen desperately licking the ground around the crash site....
'it's not a mushroom it's not a mushroom... It's a giant portabella muthafucker!'
SelectiveSanity t1_j9u9pwv wrote
Well that explains the motives behind Shell and Exxon.
bubba7557 t1_j9u9iah wrote
Reply to comment by Dasf1304 in Chemical pollution could be increasing average penis length, scientists warn by jedikraken
The only kind of chemical dumping we can approve of...until you catch a small mouth bass hung like a horse
Slight-Winner-8597 t1_j9u9hlh wrote
Reply to comment by Valash83 in Pueblo deputy awarded Purple Heart for injuries suffered during shooting of Richard Ward by Drablit
They're honestly taking one of the most sombre and humbling awards a soldier could ever earn and passing them out. Might as well load em into a t-shirt cannon at this point.
ShrekJohnson27 t1_j9u9hlg wrote
Reply to comment by mriabtsev in Face of man banned from every women's toilets in UK by Elsa87
Man she does find it funny. Not transphobic, context matters, I can tell your chronically online. Step outside and breathe I promise you’ll be okay
MakionGarvinus t1_j9u9awm wrote
Reply to comment by Kcidobor in Man charged after eating stolen chips dropped by thief, police say by jab116
I was trying to be fair to my neighbor, who is/was a cop. I've only spoken to him a few times in 8 years, but waved at him whenever we drove past each other. Seemed like a decent enough guy, still takes care of his grandkids full time.
This summer, I had noticed that his truck almost never left his driveway, and when it did, it was for short periods of time. I also knew that he was the most senior (longest tenure) officer in the force, so one day I asked him if he'd retired. Like, "hey, did you finally take a well-deserved retirement? Heh heh"
He responded with "maybe, not really, still working." I just remember thinking that it's been over 6 months since I saw him in uniform, what is he trying to hide from me? It's gotta be his instinctual lying, is all I can conclude.
bubba7557 t1_j9u9ao5 wrote
Reply to comment by NoCommunication4350 in Chemical pollution could be increasing average penis length, scientists warn by jedikraken
Dr Dirk Diggler
coolluck33 t1_j9u95xz wrote
Reply to comment by VoDoka in Penises are growing longer. The reason is terrible for the environment by Olliweerr
So their sayin that if men are against EPA protection, then they're a Big Dick? Seems right..
AmericanSheep16 t1_j9u95jl wrote
Reply to comment by KesonaFyren in Man charged after eating stolen chips dropped by thief, police say by jab116
Theirs a big difference between feds and locals however. Especially when it comes to government. Especially when it comes to the states. They both work for Uncle Sam I suppose, but they usually got different goals in mind.
A local government is more likely to have your best interests in mind as compared to the feds.
And discussing how my country works with people who aren't from here isn't self-absorbed.
SelectiveSanity t1_j9u94zv wrote
Reply to comment by bedrooms-ds in Wife and her parents beat up man for forgetting their wedding anniversary by Antony-007
The holy religious sitcom texts warned us damn it!
bubba7557 t1_j9u93w7 wrote
Reply to comment by Milan__ in Chemical pollution could be increasing average penis length, scientists warn by jedikraken
Found the guy with the small dick that hates pollution! /s
mriabtsev t1_j9u8wrh wrote
Reply to comment by ShrekJohnson27 in Face of man banned from every women's toilets in UK by Elsa87
Cool hope she's 'one of the good ones' that doesn't mind your unfunny transphobic 'jokes'
astereotypicalNerd t1_j9u8vwn wrote
Reply to comment by mickeybuilds in Pilot thought instructor who died during flight was 'just joking,' safety report says by Didyoucallforme
Hey man, can you link the study that shows 1 in 40 vaccinated kids have myocarditis?
bubba7557 t1_j9u8uuy wrote
Well, now we know why Harley Quinn can't let go of the Joker.
Zeduca t1_j9u8su6 wrote
Reply to comment by squigster037 in Man charged after eating stolen chips dropped by thief, police say by jab116
Were the chips declared as evidence and put into an evidence bag when consumed?
notapolita t1_j9u8gz2 wrote
Why chase after a criminal when there are people around you just waiting to be arrested.
reverielagoon1208 t1_j9u8f1w wrote
Reply to comment by Ragnarok_619 in Man charged after eating stolen chips dropped by thief, police say by jab116
I do wish our cops in the US were at least state based. It wouldn’t eliminate the problems but it’s is easier to hold accountable when there aren’t thousands of police departments
ShrekJohnson27 t1_j9u89ve wrote
Reply to comment by mriabtsev in Face of man banned from every women's toilets in UK by Elsa87
Don’t believe me I guess, i was just hanging with her yesterday 😂
epiquinnz t1_j9u88br wrote
Reply to comment by HarryHacker42 in Boris Johnson wants to become NATO Secretary General by thejebusofsuburbia
Don't you think that arming heavily the country that Russia is trying to invade would negate any perceived amity between Russia and Johnson? You're putting too much weight on Brexit when we are talking about a literal war on the other end of the scale.
theLonelyBinary t1_j9u87cc wrote
Reply to comment by Excession638 in Man charged after eating stolen chips dropped by thief, police say by jab116
It's basically impossible to charge a cop with anything in the US 😬 ðŸ˜
theleeman14 t1_j9u7slw wrote
clearly this was the only issue in their otherwise picturesque marriage
Gamingenterprise t1_j9ua7av wrote
Reply to Penises are growing longer. The reason is terrible for the environment by Olliweerr
bad study though
​
and scientists have been finding the opposite the last couple of years