No, no, you got it all wrong.

He founded Canada in 1492 after coming over on the Nina, Pinta, and Santa Maria with Jesus, George Washington, and Robocop. Together, they pushed out the Mad Max biker gangs that roamed across Canada in its original jungle state. Unfortunately, the weapons they used took a toll and ushered in a new ice age, forming the Great Lakes in just 10 years from glacial slides and killing the last remaining T-rexes in North America, opening the way for American settlement coast-to-coast.

He's laid low for 500 years by joining the Illuminati and putting himself in cryp-sleep, only emerging when the world needs his guidance. He learned this technique by consulting Nostradamus and Leonardo da Vinci (who's alive and well today, going by the name Banksy).

I would say it sounds like a waste of good coffee and good olive oil, but we're talking Starbucks here, so, whatever.

I read this as installing a Republican Detector.

Didn't even need to read the article to know it was a fucking Republican.

Holy shit, guy. Calm down...so dimwitted.

Only in America you say?? Thank Christ for that.

I was at a shitty crustpunk bar once getting an after-work beer. One of those shitholes where the bartenders clearly hate you. So the bartender and I were ignoring one another when someone sits next to me and he immediately says, "no. get out."

And the dude next to me says, "hey i'm not doing anything, i'm a paying customer." and the bartender reaches under the counter for a bat or something and says, "out. now." and the dude leaves, kind of yelling. And he was dressed in a punk uniform, I noticed

Anyway, I asked what that was about and the bartender was like, "you didn't see his vest but it was all nazi shit. Iron crosses and stuff. You get to recognize them."

And i was like, ohok and he continues.

"you have to nip it in the bud immediately. These guys come in and it's always a nice, polite one. And you serve them because you don't want to cause a scene. And then they become a regular and after awhile they bring a friend. And that dude is cool too.

And then THEY bring friends and the friends bring friends and they stop being cool and then you realize, oh shit, this is a Nazi bar now. And it's too late because they're entrenched and if you try to kick them out, they cause a PROBLEM. So you have to shut them down.

And i was like, 'oh damn.' and he said "yeah, you have to ignore their reasonable arguments because their end goal is to be terrible, awful people."

And then he went back to ignoring me. But I haven't forgotten that at all.

Republicans are like that

From the article:

"to ferment is to cause a chemical change to food or drink, like turning grapes into wine, but to foment is to stir up trouble, like turning a group of people into an angry mob."

If the rape claim was baseless, the woman should face some consequences for false allegations.

She needed an injection stat

Holy shit dude. You're unstable.

He got censured. Everybody in the legislature voted for the censure except for himself.

Yes, consume the propaganda. It was never cancer- its ALWAYS been heart attacks. And, kids have always gotten them too! Nevermind that, pre-covid 1 in 250,000 kids got mydocarditis and now its 1 in 40 from vaccinations. Keep perpetuating the propaganda even though even the CDC admits it now. You're either a scumbag or a moron- there's no inbetween or any other excuse for your comment.

For all those that couldn’t bother reading, please read it.

The turn of events is HILARIOUS

Without the y. It's a guy without the least bit of concern for a child's wellbeing.

The most common cause of death is common? What a revelation!

George Carlin called this out in 96

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZdRMBTF-hQ&ab_channel=Perseus999

"Clearly not," my tidy tucchus. My owning up to being a snob in no way precludes nor absolves you from being a judgemental prick. If my misinformed triage of the content I choose to digest is somehow negatively affecting you, that's a you problem. I made an ill-informed assessment, received a correction, said, "thank you," and went about my day.

Am I an elitist snob? I'd argue against the elitist part and completely cop to snobbery.

Did you needlessly decide to go out of your way to make a judgemental assessment of someone who hadn't said boo to you? Absofuckinglutely.

Potatoe

…Dan Quayle, who’s obviously not Irish.

A modest proposal

All those words stringed together with hyphens can be summarized to “fascist”

Its ok to use the F-word

Hmu the next time your wife isn’t feeling well

A house a neighborhood over from me caught fire. They lost about half the house in the fire, and boarded up what was still standing and just tried to live in the rest of the house. The city had to condemn the house to get them to move out of a house that was no longer habitable.

This code violation seems like the automatic version of that process. Almost certainly the city will issue a violation for a basketball size hole in a wall, or a car size hole, because there is a process to follow to make sure homes are safely habitable.

Is it tone deaf, yes. But for every story like this, someone is still living in the 30% of their home that’s still standing after a fire, and legal process is legal process.

No need to imagine. And all the volcanic activity in their region constantly creates new islands.

This might explain why they're doing this, actually. Like, it's so crazy that it has to be a distraction for something.