Recent comments in /f/nosleep

Jezzzebeelzebub t1_j9utyx1 wrote

Reply to How to Survive College - something is after Cassie by fainting--goat

I'm trying to be patient with you, Ashley, but at some point you're just going to have to get the fuck over yourself and your guilt and your insecurites and reach real far down into yourself where you've got some fucking grit and just decide to stop all the hand-waving and hissy-fitting, and understand that shit happens. Sometimes it happens to you. Sometimes it happens to others. Sometimes the shit hits the deserving and often it doesn't. Sometimes you can help it and sometimes you can't. If Daniel is able to save his own ass, great. If not, thems the breaks. Your boyfriend is dead, and it's either your fault or it ain't but he's dead in any case. If you can't do what you have to do, then what are you doing. The devil was right. Unfuck yourself and carry the fuck on with some conviction. I doubt your life is going to get easier from here- do with that what you will. (Or don't. ) DAMN

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TheSkullCupMan t1_j9uthdq wrote

Reply to I love my kids, but can’t stand my wife. Is there any way to salvage what's left of this family? by lightingnations

Well, the comments have been really lovely so far, think I read one that supported the wife saying she was a true surgeon unhindered by emotions, and hence a keeper... Might I suggest sedating your wife at night and then giving her a shot of her own medicine?

You mentioned she was a surgeon, and working a job where time is of utmost essence while managing those stupid interns, who flinch at every damn command can be a hassle. After sedation simply slice off each of her fingers instead replacing them with stuff that would help out, a scalpel, and a retractor for instance, a reflex hammer might be "handy" too.

A pager is a very useful device and a necessity for a medical career, so for the left hand replace the fingers with a small one, do let her keep that thumb though for the buttons, gotta 'preciate those opposable thumbs eh? I hope this guide would be a way to tell your wife that you are in agreement with her methods, and also a way for you to make her life more

manageable

PS: You might think that leaving her with just a thumb is harsh but you ought to

>Think of it more like…downsizing.

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RagicalUnicorn t1_j9ugk2x wrote

Reply to Alexa won't stop screaming. by Idiot108

Ohhh nooo you've gone and accidentally bought the 'Groundhog Day Screaming Special Edition Alexa', I had a similar experience with a 'Freaky Friday Body Swapper Edition Alexa' that put me in my cats body for 24 hours. Actually it wasn't that bad, though I did ultimately get fired when Mr Fuzzles decided to do some 'personal grooming' in the middle of my bosses presentation at the bi-annual board meeting..

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