I farted in a school assembly once in junior school I got dropped from the school football team as punishment. I was the goalkeeper and we had never lost a match. Guess what we lost that game I got dropped. Fuck you mr Meek you absolute tosspot

Step car, what are you doing?

I think by "knocked down" they meant "F**ked"

Nothing thats why it's posted to this sub

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This is why you use blanks and not real bullets in the starting pistol

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Unless you can reply "nice one" and then return to the speech without skipping a beat.

I feel like 6th graders have better writing than this.

No!

Yeah, petty shit.

I live in England, what year is 6th grade? Is it just year 6? Year 5? Year 7?

So sit down, kids. I have a tale to tell.

In my junior year of high school, my class was down at the computer lab/library for the period and before lunch.

So if you walked into the library on your left was about 30 computers for us to use for school work. To the right was most of the books and some tables and chairs. So in the back corner by the books the there was this spot with five chairs; super comfy and out of the way.

My friends and I filled all of the seats and sat there whispering and bullshiting when our buddy Zach came in and saw us.

Zach was in our grade, but not our class. So he comes and sits down between a couple of our chairs, so he's out of sight and starts explaining why he's there.

He was in AG class and was gassy. He was continually ripping ass without really meaning to, and the teacher finally got fed up and sent him to the office. He told the teacher "I'm not going to theboffice for fucking farting dude." And came to the library instead.

So about the our principal comes in, and his whole face is bright ass red, so we know he's pissed and goes over the computers, obviously looking for Zach. He fucks off and we all lose it laughing then a TA goes and gets him to rat Zach out.

He comes back and tells him he's gotta go to the office. Zach says he's not going to the office for farting. The principal threatens to call the cops for "insubordination." Mind you, this is a small rural school nearest cops 15 minutes away. My class size was 35.

So they go back and forth and Zach says, "go ahead and call the cops on me for fucking farting. That's the stupidest shit I've ever heard." Principal shrugs and leaves, and we have about 10 minutes til lunch and are laughing about what just happened.

Bell rings, and we all go out into the hall to go to lunch. As we're walking, Zach is by me, and I see two uniformed officers come up and grab Zach and lead him back to the office.

They escorted him home that day.

That's how Zach had to take a 10-minute ride to his house in the back of a squad car for farting in class.

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A friend of mine ripped a deafening fart during an assembly that still makes my laugh to this day. I’m actually laughing rn.

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Worst song ever

Jeez. That’s a fucked in level of guilt for a 6th grader. The fuck was your childhood like?!

There's no need for this level of grovelling. It only a fart. Just....let it go.😎

It’s true. If Steve Jobs were still alive he’d attest to it. Unfortunately he was replaced by a fart

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Especially if it’s the sound of rolling thunder - nice long one.

Blew him away.

Does Black Sabbath count as sad?