Do you do poison?

Plus you'll get the freshest piece!

Cupcakes. Better yet: mini cupcakes. Will be gone in a flash!

"HEY, who's the fatfuck that got into the dessert already?!"

I must be a brute- a virgin dessert has never stopped me from diving in

Same for a wheel of brie cheese! Works like a charm

Suicide pact in red velvet

This is fucking dumb.

If people are gonna go to an event where food is served and not eat food cause they can't handle the social interaction of portioning the food for themselves, they can fucking starve. Wtf is this shit.

Agreed, I go for what I want, there’s no rule that can stop me from making the first slice of cake or the first scoop into banana pudding

I’m on a seafood diet, I see food… and eat it!

If you want to follow this advice but don't feel comfortable doing so, here's a trick: when others see you cut a piece of your dessert first, tell them in a joking tone that it's a custom you inherited from your grandmother, who in turn inherited it from her grandmother: when you have been invited to a party and you bring a dessert of your own making, it is customary to consume a piece first in front of the host, to show that it has no poison in it whatsoever. Tell them that your grandmother knew it was ridiculous, but continued to do it as a family tradition (even though you knew she did it so she wouldn't be left without tasting her own dessert). Now you probably have something to start a conversation!

There's something similar to cake that fits their description. I believe it's called a cake cup or something along those lines.

Surprised I had to scroll so far to find this. 9 times out of 10, the host is going to think you brought something that practically nobody touched at a different party.

In fact, make nice slices. People tend to mangle pretty desserts at these things.

Exactly!!

I'm the official cake-cutter, the dessert-slicer, the party-beginner for my team. Nobody gave me that position, I took it when I saw the amount of time people waste at such events just wanting to be polite.

One of myselves could have put it in without me looking.

I always eat last when I provide or prepare food. If you don’t get any there wasn’t enough.

Yes! It’s a good way to sample it before you serve it and make sure you get some if it’s a hit :)

Applies to cookies, too. Just take a bite out of one of them and put it back.

Plus you get the first slice before anyone else has had a poke

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It's probably a self-conscious thing. This was me yesterday. I felt like if I took cake first, somebody would be upset with me.

To make sure you used the right amount?

thought you meant function as in "static void ...( ) { }"

This only works if you want people to eat it! Sometimes getting to being a whole, untouched cake back home with you is the goal 😅