Annoying as hell!!! I definitely wanna try joining in but in Oakland, I may run the risk of being shot. 🥴

You are not alone. Not even close.

Number one, good for you getting sober, I'm so proud of you.

I got sober for alcohol almost 3 years ago now, and when I was drinking I was a shitty person, no doubt there. Similarly I used the people who loved me, I abused every opportunity I got, and I barely noticed or cared.

That was all 3 years ago, and I'm still working through some of the guilt and shame, therapy helps, but it's still on me to do the work. I'm not talking AA or steps of anything. Just the mental work of trying to love myself. I've learned a few things on my way. Shame and guilt don't survive well in the sunlight, being honest with yourself, and those who you love. It's scary, and embarrassing, but it's over soon, and afterwards you get to be yourself again. It's crazy how much pressure we put in ourselves without even noticing it.

How do you get over it? I don't know, but it gets easier the farther away you get, time and distance and all that.

Let these hard moments you're in right now be the start of your Virtuous Upward Spiral. Do things that you're proud of, and keep doing them, soon they'll outweigh the bad stuff you can't seem to let go of.

I'm cheering for you, you got this!

Scope out all the laundromats near you and plan out productive things to do while you're there. If you find a laundromat that happens to be near a gym, grocery store, clothing store, bank, bakery, restaurant you two like, auto shop, etc. then great--make it a laundry date (I'm serious) or get some of your shopping needs done at the same time. Or actively budget, call parents, make productivity lists, etc. during that time.

MA! THE MEATLOAF!

It works if you work it. You're worth it! 💕

Agreed! The 12 steps is a soul cleansing program. I'm not saying you won't feel guilt and shame after going through the steps, but you will have clarity on WHY/WHAT cause the guilt and shame and how to make amends (if necessary).

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I deep fry using Pam. Takes me about 5 cans to fill a pot, but you can taste the love.

My husband and I would have similar weekly. 1 load for each of us (that’s without separating fabrics/colors) and 1 for towels/linens. We workout a lot which adds to laundry.

I dont get all the negativity. How you approach someone or a group depends on how you delier something. Saying this with a smile on your face can get you away with a lot, meaning it is just to have a laugh.

I was doing the math and saw the same. Happy birthday to meeee.

Yes. I don't know how I ever lived without them. You can find cheap brands too. You don't need to overpay for Beats or Bose unless you're really into music. The soft mushy earplugs recommended in this thread work great for sleeping. Used them when I worked third shift and had to sleep during the day.

Cbt therapy. Meds. Asmr videos. Letting yourself fail and succeed at things. You've got this

I cook with recipes on my phone 😂

We can't go back. None of us. Watch being Erica.. going back doesn't work. You've make changes. Forgive yourself and look straight ahead.

This is a great tip. I should do it more.

Sometimes it’s hard with my job. Shit can hit the fan at anytime (IT).

I now charge my phone overnight in a separate room. This way my phone isn’t tempting to grab through the night, or first think in the morning.

Has helped my quality of life quite a bit.

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I wholeheartedly agree, but we’re going to need a larger theoretical sample to really sell the point. What can you get me by Sunday? Is 500 doable?

I think it was Joe DiMaggio who said to be nice to everyone because it could be the first time or the last time they ever see you.

Literally my Italian family. A big box fan and ear plugs are a cost effective solution, or iPhone has a “white noise” option you can listen to. Noise canceling headphones are awesome but also not cheap

Depends on the lead, I would think

Im happy you havent been very mad.

Wedding Crashers quote.

I think either is fine, you can also write it - there are templated journals to help work through emotions like this

Ah.

Meh. Only applicable if you have a weekly salary.

All the bills and subscriptions are monthly though, so I don't see much point in a weekly salary either, except 4.345 more paperwork.

For life expenses (fuel, food), the 4.345 thing doesn't make sense either. You get a more accurate result if you actually average out the entire month, instead of averaging out a week and multiplying by 4.345. If you average out, say, 3 months and then divide by 3, you get an even more accurate monthly average.

The longer the time period, the more accurately your average represents the actual situation because outliers get ironed out.

Week is too short for capturing general trends.