Accepting and allowing all feelings/thoughts/circumstances while acting as you would live your normal life if not anxious. (Dr Claire Weekes explained it best, google her)

Agreed. Different strokes is spot on.

However, what I find interesting about OPs approach is I could see this becoming an issue related to the breadwinner being able to spend more freely. I make significantly more then my wife, doesn’t mean I think I get to spend significantly more. And especially with a kid, I can’t imagine not doing it the joint method. However that is just us, and as an accountant it easier to have me manage the budget for the whole family.

We talk at a minimum every 2 weeks about these things.

My LPT is to make a list of needs and don’t spend too spontaneously. As in spending continually on various $20 Amazon purchases, or $5 at Starbucks adds up quick.

The stepped up basis need not be children. I think it can be anyone, but there might be restrictions on non-US citizens.

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I would never join my bank accounts together. We've been together for seven years, but 1. Neither of us needs to give the other a hard time for discretionary spending as long as our bills are paid and we're hitting savings goals. 2. I've had too many friends and even a family member get absolutely screwed by having joint finances and a spouse that decided they wanted out with little to no notice and messing with the money.

Spot on. Makes total sense to me

Lose $500,000 in capital loses.

I blame high school/middle school for conditioning us. You’re around mostly the same people for years and years. They remember every little thing you did wrong to embarrass and ridicule you. They give you nicknames that stick for years. It’s horrific.

Then you leave and enter the adult world and expect similar behavior from your peers, so you spend the rest of your life defending yourself from this experience.

Well im not rich, but holy, 90%…..

This you?

https://www.iflscience.com/people-with-no-internal-monologue-explain-what-its-like-in-their-head-57739

Thats how wappies exist

Where are you getting powdered egg from?

And then promptly ignore it? Me too!

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You remind me of every person in marketing I hate

Completely disagree.

What happens if you do the math on child care costs for multiple kids, and decide someone's staying home while the other one works? They just don't get to buy anything? Or if there's a dramatic swing in earnings? "Sorry honey, I don't think you can afford this vacation, I'll see you when I get back".

I'm not suggesting planned "fun money" accounts/allowances are bad, I'm saying basing them off your earnings is a pretty crappy way to do it if you're a team.

Here’s a super easy trick: PAY YOUR FUCKING TAXES

I’d offer the reverse advice. If you find someone who truly trusts you and who you fully trust, you can share one account without conflict. Also, neither will care about income difference.

Avoiding tax legally is the same thing as minimizing taxes.. paying taxes that you can legally avoid is paying more than you owe.. I feel like you're splitting hairs here

Ask about kids, completely normal question. If they say no then don’t ask a follow-up about it. If asking if they have kids ‘triggers’ them, they are the 5% oddball not you.

Yes, that I agree with. I just don't like the notion of "gotta have your get out of town bag"

1031*

Really? What are the problems? This is meant to alleviate any arguments about frivolous purchases

If what you're doing works for you, then it's fine. There's no one right way to do it. It's not like it's a life changing thing but it just makes things a little easier imo.

The advantages I’ve personally had are:

1. It helps with budgeting. Having a separate account ONLY for bills is handy, even if you're single. Figure out how much your bills are, put that amount in every month, and then you know your bills are covered and don't have worry about it, and can spend/save the money in your other accounts however you want without thinking about your bills. Obviously this depends on your income level, if you're both making so much (and have good enough spending habits!) that you never need to worry about it, then that's not necessarily a problem that needs solving.
2. Don't have to keep track of who owes who. "I paid the water this month, you paid the power, so who owes who what now?" Sure the math's not complicated, but it's just one less thing to have to do.
3. On that note, if you want to split things other than 50/50 due to income differences, it makes it more straightforward. Each person just contributes however much per month, and it all just gets paid from one big pot without worrying about splitting each individual bill.
4. Putting all the bills under one account lets you review them and keep track of them more easily without having to go back and forth between each others' accounts.
5. If you 're saving up for something big together, a joint savings account is a good way for you both to contribute, have access to, and have that money stay separate from your other money.
6. Joint accounts automatically (usually, laws very by locality) go to the other account holder if the other one dies. No one likes to think about this, but it can happen. My wife died very unexpectedly at 31 and getting the money from her sole account has been a lengthy process involving lots of paperwork, even in my simple situation without kids or any other heirs or claimants. Meanwhile, I already had access to our joint account money and I could use it exactly like I could have before she died. Also, because none of the bills were paying from her account, I didn’t have to worry about that.

How much time did you invest in it to make that $3.5K?