Recent comments in /f/LifeProTips

wandrlusty t1_j1adcvp wrote

Reply to LPT: Don't spy on your SO to try to catch them cheating. If you can't trust them, just break up. by 5YOChemist

I disagree. The complete closure, confirmation that you were correct in your suspensions, and relief can actually be sheer joy. The definitive knowledge that they were cheating, and then not having to second-guess yourself, wonder if you’re judging them to harshly, and go mentally crazy from the gaslighting is TOTALLY WORTH IT.

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KCBandWagon t1_j1ad4yz wrote

Reply to LPT: Don't spy on your SO to try to catch them cheating. If you can't trust them, just break up. by 5YOChemist

I forget the psychological term, but if you've done something or thinking about something you're more likely to suspect someone of doing that as well.

So if you suspect your SO of cheating or don't trust them then might wanna think about what you've done.

Of course if it's the case where you've been cheated on or they've already cheated then it's another issue to deal with.

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RailRuler t1_j1ad02g wrote

Reply to LPT: Don't spy on your SO to try to catch them cheating. If you can't trust them, just break up. by 5YOChemist

You're assuming that the reason that someone is spying/confronting/stalking their SO is to determine if they're cheating, when usually the actual reason someone does this this is because they're an abuser, and harassing their partner, making them feel powerless and out of control, enables the abuser to maintain/extend their control.

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SuperSentient t1_j1ac7u0 wrote

Reply to comment by Chocolatethrowaway19 in LPT: Don't spy on your SO to try to catch them cheating. If you can't trust them, just break up. by 5YOChemist

Lol this is actually fair, thanks.

However, I would say though that OP says either way it means the relationship prob should end. If it's an observed view, you really can't make that call unless u know the intricacies of the relationship in question. I've been in a relationship like this that went to shit, and a relationship that was like this for a period and then we got through it and was basically fine. Seen plenty of other friends make it as well, ofcourse to varying degrees, but it's not an uncommon speed bump for a long-term relationship.

Edit: Just re-read my reply and think my argument is flawed lol. Originally I thought OP speaking from experience (while claim is that relationship should end) then argued that if speaking from observation, then wrong to think relationship should end (cause they don't understand relationship). These don't line up haha. I think regardless of if OP got burnt or if observation, every relationship is so insanely different that you just can't blanket say u should end it. Ok I sleep now.

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