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This sounds personal

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but how will we get those hot cheating videos?

This is the kind of tip that really is easy to understand and do when you're not in the situation, but at the heat of the moment and when you have strong feelings for someone it can be challenging to pull yourself back and look at things objectively.

This is true of anything surrounding jealousy. Trust or GTFO.

> The other possibility is that you are a paranoid maniac.

Lol. The false dichotomy and palpable angst is strong here.

How about they may have a undiagnosed mental disorder, and should seek professional treatment to discover how others deal with this?

Anecdotally, children who had parents that cheated on each other and had terrible divorces are more likely to have trust issues because they think the other shoe will drop any moment.

Rather than lashing out at folks reading your post who might have had a terrible childhood, maybe be understanding and suggest that the behavior is abnormal and detrimental to their goal of having a happy life.

Just smile and say, “Yes.” You don’t get anywhere in this crazy world without being clear about your wishes.

Trust but verify?

He cheated because he was tired of being accused of cheating? Yeah no.

The aunt was likely picking up on signs he was a cheat risk, and he eventually proved she was correct.

It's way too nuanced to slap a label on it like that. There's also a huge difference between spying and gathering evidence, they are not mutually exclusive.

Curious to know if you've ever actually been seriously betrayed by a close friend?

First off, agreed, but damn, OP what side of the coin are you on here? Genuinely curious.

Feels like maybe u got burnt once, then that carried over to paranoia. Which honestly is totally understandable.

Or burnt once then, so u understand the paranoia, but flipped next where u got blamed for something that never happened.

Either way it's a weird game but I get it. Been on both sides.

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It’s childish. Questioning your trust for your partner is a symptom, not the problem. Identify the root cause of your insecurity and talk to your partner. If you don’t get the reciprocation you’re looking for after having a mature conversation, then consider breaking up

This. It really isn't that easy. Had a girl keep manipulating me to stay after every time I tried breaking up, till I finally got hurt enough to just tell her to fuck off and lost all feelings for her.

I wouldn’t say break up. I would say sit down, talk with them, and address your issues/insecurities

In high school/college both me and my spouse were super insecure about each other but honestly we were just dumb kids who didn’t know any better. We talked through it and addressed our concerns and now we’ve been married for 15 years

The theme of this advice is good and I agree if you don’t trust someone generally you shouldn’t be together! However, there’s a lot of grey area here and this may be based around 1 specific incident. Also in reality it can often be a lot easier for someone to face reality and up and leave when they have evidence and really see the truth.

lemme know when life is bearable without having to smoke 4-5x a day and waking up groggy and having to smoke again cause it's impossible to get up without jt

yeah for giving you an illusion of coping, which is an ability you don't have when sober, so essentially your problem is just delayed in onset

I am not going to follow along with what others are doing here. To start with, ask yourself if normal things bring you pleasure. Let me give you an example, a neurotypical person would most likely be getting satisfaction out of things such as 'cleaning' or 'meditation' like some of the previous comments have mentioned. When you actually complete an activity, and you do it well, do you feel gratification? If so, yes, those 'normie' activities might work.

If the answer is no, I would start looking beyond that if I was you, specifically your mental health. Pinpoint your shortcomings and rationalise them, for example by writing them down on a piece of paper. Now, I know I said mental health, but you can't have a level head without a good base, right? You're probably expecting me to say diet and exercise, and that would partially be true. But rather than giving you this ambiguous piece of advice, I would first break down your CURRENT diet. This will allow you to pinpoint what may be missing.

Now, to add to that, another thing you could do are, for example, DNA tests to rule any potential bottlenecks beyond your control. This could mean mutations to the MTHFR gene expression, improper thyroid regulation gene expression (hypo/hyper, tyrosine hydroxylase activity in the adrenal gland, by the way very key to producing enough dopamine and consecutively norepinephrine for our body to utilise, and guess what, those are key to motivation and alertness.). Take into account things such as methylation, cholination, any potential vitamin deficiencies (especially the B cat.). What I am trying to say is you want to rule out as many potential factors as you can, to ensure what you aren't overlooking any important cause for any symptoms.

THEN that's when exercise gets good, when you actually feel motivated to do it. Now, I'd at least start by building a small habit (1-2x week). It might not sound like much, but as you get physically healthier and your mental state clearer, there won't be anything stopping you from increasing the frequency. Do you see where I am going with this? If you learn that exercise can feel good, you'll want to do it more often from your own initiative because you'll simply find it engaging.

It's not just about a prenup. Not everywhere has "no fault" divorces.

And, even if they do, other things like alimony, child support, and child custody can be changed based on proof of infidelity.

Care to elaborate?

So many people are in bad relationships and don't realize just how bad it is until they look at it from a 3rd perspective. I wish i knew these things years ago, but just gotta learn the hard way with relationships and how easily humans can lie and deceive others.

This is sage advice, unless you are a married man, and want to keep your kids. In that case, getting proof will help you get an uncontested divorce and go a long way towards proving that you aren't the least trustworthy parent in the relationship.