Recent comments in /f/Jokes
2geeks t1_jedp6xb wrote
Reply to I was in the supermarket with the wife today when completely out of the blue she said "You know something? You really are a lazy bastard!" by SionGest
I didn’t ever get fox but I was offered a job as an apprentice miniatures-builder on the show, back in the mid-late 00’s (for what would have been “Back To Earth”. Unfortunately, due to declining health (I’m now completely housebound and have cognitive issues, meaning I can’t work very often at all), I had to turn down the role.
I know it’s not the same. I’ve just always been quite proud that they offered me work on one of my favourite shows and I figured it sort of fit.
Elegant_Spot_3486 t1_jedoycx wrote
Reply to I was in the supermarket with the wife today when completely out of the blue she said "You know something? You really are a lazy bastard!" by SionGest
I’ve never seen a trolley in a supermarket. The thought of it didn’t seem funny.
surfingkoala035 t1_jedorja wrote
Reply to comment by Drkindlycountryquack in A guy went to party and urged to fart... by Vishwasm123
Bob Dylan, right? I didn’t even need Google! How tragic is that!
lincruste t1_jedori2 wrote
Reply to What’s a good title for necrophilia porn? by KFCfan05
Night of the ass eaters
Crawford8 t1_jedoqpa wrote
Reply to What’s a good title for necrophilia porn? by KFCfan05
The wanking dead
[deleted] t1_jedolrh wrote
thuanjinkee t1_jedoeg3 wrote
Reply to comment by Think-Builder-1650 in Why wasn't Steve Jobs allowed to fart at home? by CauliflowerOk3993
r/therealjoke
thuanjinkee t1_jedod5w wrote
Reply to comment by pog890 in Why wasn't Steve Jobs allowed to fart at home? by CauliflowerOk3993
r/therealjoke
chickenstocking t1_jedoajq wrote
Reply to comment by Moist_Bite_2860 in I was in the supermarket with the wife today when completely out of the blue she said "You know something? You really are a lazy bastard!" by SionGest
Yup. Same in England
Sedrjqla t1_jedo0mo wrote
Reply to I was in the supermarket with the wife today when completely out of the blue she said "You know something? You really are a lazy bastard!" by SionGest
Lol, what the, idk, just made me laugh out loud for awhile…
C_Brick_yt t1_jednma3 wrote
At least the good guys won in NSW yesterday, so that hopefully changes a bit.
YuuHikari t1_jednbw6 wrote
Reply to I like to tell dad jokes by DoctorBlazes
Maybe the true joke is the dad we found along the way
Mayinator t1_jedn0s5 wrote
Reply to What’s a good title for necrophilia porn? by KFCfan05
Are you dead serious?
[deleted] t1_jedmw5m wrote
Specific_Tap7296 t1_jedmner wrote
Reply to Before there were crowbars by Beefabuckaroni
I prefer lion bars
TomLechevre t1_jedm90v wrote
And after you went to Hell and back to create it.
SpeedyHAM79 t1_jedlru1 wrote
Reply to comment by coastalJuncture in Why do gay people suck at telling jokes? by do_yu_koto_da
I laughed more at this than the original joke. Well done.
Wendals87 t1_jedl6rn wrote
Reply to comment by depressedbee in My girlfriend left me because of my abandonment issues... by Risperdali
even in death you can't afford to not have a roommate
Wendals87 t1_jedl5cj wrote
Reply to comment by jsharpminor in My girlfriend left me because of my abandonment issues... by Risperdali
oh fancy! I got mine in a box of corn flakes. It was for kids but that is really just a recommendation
HandsOnGeek t1_jedky4f wrote
Reply to comment by CantReadDuneRunes in I was in the supermarket with the wife today when completely out of the blue she said "You know something? You really are a lazy bastard!" by SionGest
Why would you assume that the rest of the world is just like England?
America tends to speak English the way that it was invented. Instead of fucking it up without even the excuse of moving across the Atlantic Ocean.
Seriously. American English tends to use Georgian or even pre-Georgian vocabulary instead of adopting the latest fashionable Victorian or Edwardian terminology.
Botch_Lobotomy t1_jedk6jr wrote
I had to break up with my cross-eyed girlfriend. She was seeing someone else
emzirek t1_jedjt6i wrote
Reply to I like to tell dad jokes by DoctorBlazes
r/dadjokes
Glad4231 t1_jedjrb5 wrote
Reply to I was in the supermarket with the wife today when completely out of the blue she said "You know something? You really are a lazy bastard!" by SionGest
lol She could be talking about someone else
Bluebladexd t1_jedjj1f wrote
Reply to I was in the supermarket with the wife today when completely out of the blue she said "You know something? You really are a lazy bastard!" by SionGest
It reminds me of another joke A husband and wife are shopping in their local grocery store. The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in the cart.
"What do you think you're doing?" asks the wife.
"They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans" he replies.
"Put them back, we can't afford them", demands the wife.
They carry on with their shopping. A few aisles farther on, the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket.
"What do you think you're doing?" asks the husband.
"It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful," replies the wife.
Her husband retorts, "So does 24 cans of Budweiser and it's half the price."
drod2070 t1_jedp9ec wrote
Reply to What’s a good title for necrophilia porn? by KFCfan05
Honey, I screwed a corpse