Recent comments in /f/Jokes

skinydan t1_jecwply wrote on March 31, 2023 at 2:22 AM

Reply to Why did the duck get arrested? by Deechon

I thought he had unpaid bills

AnonymousBobC t1_jecwlzd wrote on March 31, 2023 at 2:21 AM

Reply to I’m currently writing this from the hospital. by Verothyn

Glad you won't Dy(e)so(o)n

carlcast t1_jecwljj wrote on March 31, 2023 at 2:21 AM

Reply to Yo Mama so old... by playingwithechoes

She so fat she's counted as one ecosystem

Noiserawker t1_jecwi0y wrote on March 31, 2023 at 2:20 AM

Reply to Wife and I agreed that we don't want kids. by vartha

My wife and I decided we don't want kids...sold them to a trafficker. Hmmm maybe too harsh.

SnooLentils3803 t1_jecw7y9 wrote on March 31, 2023 at 2:18 AM

Reply to Yo Mama so old... by playingwithechoes

Her chiropractor is a paleontologist.

PubaliBasu t1_jecw0nj wrote on March 31, 2023 at 2:16 AM

Reply to Why did the duck get arrested? by Deechon

He jaywalked to the other side

JackTheSnack19 t1_jecvnko wrote on March 31, 2023 at 2:13 AM

Reply to comment by Hellefiedboy in I was in the supermarket with the wife today when completely out of the blue she said "You know something? You really are a lazy bastard!" by SionGest

This is the way

tomfullary t1_jecunjg wrote on March 31, 2023 at 2:05 AM

Reply to comment by Antique_Direction255 in Some folks'll never understand sailors... by Albert_Flasher

*Folks’ll

Zygarde718 t1_jecuj9g wrote on March 31, 2023 at 2:04 AM

Reply to comment by CauliflowerOk3993 in Why wasn't Steve Jobs allowed to fart at home? by CauliflowerOk3993

Ahh ok.

RakeishSPV t1_jecu909 wrote on March 31, 2023 at 2:02 AM

Reply to comment by bigwolf29 in My girlfriend left me because of my abandonment issues... by Risperdali

As she watched the car sink under the waves she thought to herself, "finally, I can have some peace."

Major_R_Soul t1_jecu28e wrote on March 31, 2023 at 2:01 AM

Reply to Why did the duck get arrested? by Deechon

They mixed up their Donalds

Marquar234 t1_jectk4u wrote on March 31, 2023 at 1:57 AM

Reply to comment by Waitsfornoone in What’s a good title for necrophilia porn? by KFCfan05

He didn't include pedophilia.

Mihu_Jwang t1_jecthte wrote on March 31, 2023 at 1:56 AM

Reply to What do you call a really fast sheep? by Old-Refrigerator340

Ram jet

RolloutTieDispenser t1_ject8ro wrote on March 31, 2023 at 1:54 AM

Reply to Yo Mama so old... by playingwithechoes

She was the inspiration for Archimedes phrase: "Give me a lever long enough and a fulcrum on which to place it, and I shall move the world"

NZ-ReaperZ t1_ject7et wrote on March 31, 2023 at 1:54 AM

Reply to comment by Marcus_Regrets_All in I called the tinnitus hotline... by Deechon

Thanks for the tip. I'm close to 40 and it's just come on suddenly with no warning. My bedroom is tech free as I need silence and quiet to sleep so it's really messing with me. It's way too loud to be masked by anything low volume unfortunately. :( I hope I build some resilience as I'm having to drug myself to sleep (I had to prior to the tinnitus too 😂) but now even more so.

It's relentless.

ntthtmn t1_ject0sq wrote on March 31, 2023 at 1:53 AM

Reply to My girlfriend left me because of my abandonment issues... by Risperdali

Ah this one was hilarious

NZ-ReaperZ t1_jecsyne wrote on March 31, 2023 at 1:52 AM

Reply to comment by bahfafah in I called the tinnitus hotline... by Deechon

Mine is both buzzing and crickets, varying volumes and sometimes it's so deafening I can barely pay attention :( I'm medicating heavily to get to sleep as I need silence to sleep unfortunately

Distinct_Dark_9626 t1_jecstw5 wrote on March 31, 2023 at 1:51 AM

Reply to comment by Whole-Award2092 in What do you call a black man who flies an airplane? by Last_Fact_3044

Its pathetic. This turd clearly saw this joke and modified and reposted in a desperate attempt for attention and karma.

Ewetootwo t1_jecskon wrote on March 31, 2023 at 1:49 AM

Reply to comment by Appropriate_Leg1489 in My girlfriend left me because of my abandonment issues... by Risperdali

Things got exponentially worse. She started out taking ice square trays then escalated to ice cube trays.

SnooLentils3803 t1_jecsfeu wrote on March 31, 2023 at 1:48 AM

Reply to comment by robitj11 in I was in the supermarket with the wife today when completely out of the blue she said "You know something? You really are a lazy bastard!" by SionGest

"A shopping cart (American English), trolley (British English, Australian English), or buggy (Southern American English, Appalachian English), also known by a variety of other names, is a wheeled cart supplied by a shop or store." From https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shopping_cart I call it "Buggy," but I'm from Oklahoma...where the shopping cart was invented. 😁

Ewetootwo t1_jecs3e6 wrote on March 31, 2023 at 1:46 AM

Reply to Why wasn't Steve Jobs allowed to fart at home? by CauliflowerOk3993

Because his wife would screen at him.

Fit-Interview-9855 t1_jecry59 wrote on March 31, 2023 at 1:44 AM

Reply to What do you call a black man who flies an airplane? by Last_Fact_3044

Roger Murdock and tell your old man to drag Walton and Lanier up and down the court for 48 minutes!

Simpawknits t1_jecrv2g wrote on March 31, 2023 at 1:44 AM

Reply to I was in the supermarket with the wife today when completely out of the blue she said "You know something? You really are a lazy bastard!" by SionGest

Trolley?

RedditIsNeat0 t1_jecroxz wrote on March 31, 2023 at 1:42 AM

Reply to comment by ccstewy in My girlfriend left me because of my abandonment issues... by Risperdali

I've been feeling all of these. It's so sad. I don't give a shit about my mom but I wish I could hug her dog.

[deleted] t1_jecrjw1 wrote on March 31, 2023 at 1:41 AM

Reply to I was in the supermarket with the wife today when completely out of the blue she said "You know something? You really are a lazy bastard!" by SionGest

[deleted]