E420CDI t1_jeci7bt wrote on March 31, 2023 at 12:30 AM

Reply to comment by SqueakMachine in I was in the supermarket with the wife today when completely out of the blue she said "You know something? You really are a lazy bastard!" by SionGest

He's bagsied it for when he gets trollied

Another_3 t1_jechuha wrote on March 31, 2023 at 12:28 AM

Reply to What do you call a black man who flies an airplane? by Last_Fact_3044

why would i call him "pilot you fucking racist" ?

baddogbadcatbadfawn t1_jecha3u wrote on March 31, 2023 at 12:23 AM

Reply to comment by waterbuffalo750 in What do you call a black man who flies an airplane? by Last_Fact_3044

That's racist.

Glacierwolf55 t1_jech8pt wrote on March 31, 2023 at 12:23 AM

Reply to What’s a good title for necrophilia porn? by KFCfan05

I See Dead People

Luked0g44O t1_jecgw4u wrote on March 31, 2023 at 12:21 AM

Reply to comment by scientology-embracer in Why wasn't Steve Jobs allowed to fart at home? by CauliflowerOk3993

Um, does Apple computers come to mind?

TheMapleCastor t1_jecgszp wrote on March 31, 2023 at 12:20 AM

Reply to What happens if you commit a crime in Australia? by Awesomeuser90

You earn citizenship...

Hellefiedboy t1_jecgkeb wrote on March 31, 2023 at 12:18 AM

Reply to comment by dre235 in I was in the supermarket with the wife today when completely out of the blue she said "You know something? You really are a lazy bastard!" by SionGest

I was born and raised in Canada, and we call them carts, sometimes shopping carts.

alkenist t1_jecgjwv wrote on March 31, 2023 at 12:18 AM

Reply to comment by KoalaXav in Why wasn't Steve Jobs allowed to fart at home? by CauliflowerOk3993

I believe that was Tim Apple.

Shporpoise t1_jecgjds wrote on March 31, 2023 at 12:18 AM

Reply to comment by DanAlucard in What do you call a black man who flies an airplane? by Last_Fact_3044

Baila shake your bum bum,,, but not like twerking that's cultural appropriation.

Hellefiedboy t1_jecgf2c wrote on March 31, 2023 at 12:17 AM

Reply to comment by SadShelter5629 in I was in the supermarket with the wife today when completely out of the blue she said "You know something? You really are a lazy bastard!" by SionGest

r/foundthemobileuser

Response-Cheap t1_jecgckv wrote on March 31, 2023 at 12:17 AM

Reply to What do you call a black man who flies an airplane? by Last_Fact_3044

Same thing we called him as yesterday's punchline I guess.

Shporpoise t1_jecg7c8 wrote on March 31, 2023 at 12:16 AM

Reply to I’m currently writing this from the hospital. by Verothyn

That sucks dude.

thedriver_44 t1_jecfes8 wrote on March 31, 2023 at 12:10 AM

Reply to What do you call a girl who loves garlic? by healthcrusade

Single

Moist_Bite_2860 t1_jecfbdf wrote on March 31, 2023 at 12:09 AM

Reply to comment by doughboy1001 in I was in the supermarket with the wife today when completely out of the blue she said "You know something? You really are a lazy bastard!" by SionGest

Definitely "trolley" in Australia. Only heard other names on the "telly".

KWHarrison1983 t1_jecf8bl wrote on March 31, 2023 at 12:08 AM

Reply to What do you call a black man who flies an airplane? by Last_Fact_3044

I guess I’m not racist… my first thought was “a pilot, obviously”

sajilkg t1_jecf1om wrote on March 31, 2023 at 12:07 AM

Reply to Wife and I agreed that we don't want kids. by vartha

This joke is pretty good, but I dont think you can tell it to anyone that knows you.

grimdog73 t1_jecem9f wrote on March 31, 2023 at 12:04 AM

Reply to What’s a good title for necrophilia porn? by KFCfan05

Dead Pokers Society

southpaw1235 t1_jecegdl wrote on March 31, 2023 at 12:03 AM

Reply to I was in the supermarket with the wife today when completely out of the blue she said "You know something? You really are a lazy bastard!" by SionGest

Wow just because you asked her to feed you grapes go figure

[deleted] t1_jecee3c wrote on March 31, 2023 at 12:02 AM

Reply to Wife and I agreed that we don't want kids. by vartha

[removed]

peetstaa t1_jecedv3 wrote on March 31, 2023 at 12:02 AM

Reply to comment by peetstaa in Why wasn't Steve Jobs allowed to fart at home? by CauliflowerOk3993

iPharted...autocorrect is evil

peetstaa t1_jecea6u wrote on March 31, 2023 at 12:01 AM

Reply to comment by allnightdisco in Why wasn't Steve Jobs allowed to fart at home? by CauliflowerOk3993

IPharted, maybe?

peetstaa t1_jece40r wrote on March 31, 2023 at 12:00 AM

Reply to comment by Round_North3426 in Why wasn't Steve Jobs allowed to fart at home? by CauliflowerOk3993

Gates enriches Gates only

DanAlucard t1_jece1qj wrote on March 31, 2023 at 12:00 AM

Reply to comment by Commander__Z in What do you call a black man who flies an airplane? by Last_Fact_3044

Una poca de gracia pa' mí, pa' ti

Cosmo1222 t1_jece0lc wrote on March 30, 2023 at 11:59 PM

Reply to comment by Cosmo1222 in Joe Biden is not my president by [deleted]

/s In case it wasn't clear. I don't think your opinions on Oompa Loompas are worthless just because you live in the UK.

vartha OP t1_jecduwn wrote on March 30, 2023 at 11:58 PM

Reply to comment by celeronD123 in Wife and I agreed that we don't want kids. by vartha

Much better, I admit.

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