Recent comments in /f/Jokes
Umpteenth_zebra t1_jebtdrn wrote
Ball == Sphere.
->
Dyson ball == Dyson sphere
->
You can use a Dyson ball cleaner to clean your solar powered energy collector around the sun.
Professor_Hazel t1_jebtbgf wrote
Reply to comment by SuperUnknown318 in Joe Biden is not my president by [deleted]
Based on what evidence? Where's your "facts," coming from other than that oversized Oompa Loompa you all seem to worship?
Key-Ideal-9121 t1_jebt87z wrote
You get Austracized.
28ozPowerade t1_jebt4ml wrote
Reply to comment by ShortFuse in My girlfriend left me because of my abandonment issues... by Risperdali
cigarettes go bad outside the freezer
SuperUnknown318 t1_jebsyvm wrote
Reply to comment by Professor_Hazel in Joe Biden is not my president by [deleted]
I stated the facts! You live in the UK, enough said, fuck off!
Odd_Jellyfish_1053 t1_jebssaw wrote
A ramborghini?
rascible t1_jebsix9 wrote
Reply to I was in the supermarket with the wife today when completely out of the blue she said "You know something? You really are a lazy bastard!" by SionGest
My wife says that all the time. Spoiler, I am a lazy bastard.
Professor_Hazel t1_jebsi7r wrote
Reply to comment by SuperUnknown318 in Joe Biden is not my president by [deleted]
Dude, I was joking. I'm from the U.K, so he's literally not my president.
...he's definitely your president though. The sooner you grow up, and the sooner you get your head out of your own arse and realise that fact, the better.
cardcomm t1_jebscnb wrote
Reply to comment by [deleted] in My girlfriend left me because of my abandonment issues... by Risperdali
Because - It's commonly said that when someone abandons their family, that "they left to get cigarettes and never came back"
eroica1804 t1_jebsaf7 wrote
Reply to comment by azlan194 in My girlfriend left me because of my abandonment issues... by Risperdali
I'm not talking to you, you broke my fridge! That's 400 dollars.
thegoodtimelord t1_jebs0d2 wrote
Reply to What’s a good title for necrophilia porn? by KFCfan05
Dead End, crack a stiffy…
NDodma01 t1_jebryvq wrote
You get sent to England
blamenixon t1_jebrtv8 wrote
Reply to comment by CommonBubba in My girlfriend left me because of my abandonment issues... by Risperdali
A good beer should always provide a bit of head
ruslus86 t1_jebr3oc wrote
Reply to I was in the supermarket with the wife today when completely out of the blue she said "You know something? You really are a lazy bastard!" by SionGest
And that's how I divorced your mom for always being there for her.
[deleted] t1_jebr0mg wrote
Reply to comment by cardcomm in My girlfriend left me because of my abandonment issues... by Risperdali
[deleted]
tealandyellow t1_jebqu6c wrote
Reply to What’s a good title for necrophilia porn? by KFCfan05
Morgy
StevenMcFlyJr t1_jebqn0b wrote
Was it in the fridge or at the store tho? Time is a bitch
flunky_the_majestic t1_jebqf2s wrote
Reply to comment by unripenedboyparts in The cops in my town are looking for a suspect who they are calling “the birthday party thief”. by porichoygupto
It has been public domain for like 10 years
SionGest OP t1_jebq9nj wrote
Reply to comment by robitj11 in I was in the supermarket with the wife today when completely out of the blue she said "You know something? You really are a lazy bastard!" by SionGest
Never heard that before. Forgive my Englishness 😀
DrBarry_McCockiner t1_jebq8xg wrote
Reply to comment by boxfullofirony in What do you call a really fast sheep? by Old-Refrigerator340
I was gonna say a Scottish virgin. oh, well, you beat me to it. good job
Antique_Direction255 t1_jebq2eg wrote
Reply to My wife apologized first time ever by -climbatize-
Night in the ruts
Bearloom t1_jebpqez wrote
Reply to What’s a good title for necrophilia porn? by KFCfan05
Splitting a Cold One With the Boys
kustombart OP t1_jebpnpv wrote
Reply to comment by doms227 in What do you call a woman tied to a jetty? by kustombart
Take my upvote, you!
Putrid-Reputation-68 t1_jebpn8k wrote
Have an issue? Here's a tissue.
Professor_Hazel t1_jebtu3j wrote
Reply to comment by HankThrill69420 in Joe Biden is not my president by [deleted]
Indeed! :)