I’m sad that this isn’t an actual sub. I would join in a heartbeat.

I called one in America it said i’d better be in class tomorrow.

Ring around Uranus

it's a joke you joyless camel

I just call them conservatives.

An elementary school teacher once asked her class “If there are 3 crows on a telephone wire, and a farmer shot one, how many are left?”

One boy said there were 2 but little Sally pointed out “It’s a trick question.  Once you shoot one the rest will fly away” and the teacher congratulated her on her correct answer.

So then little Johnny says “No, there would still be one.  The one the farmer shot.”

The teacher replied “That’s still wrong but I like the way you think.”

So then little Johnny boasted “Okay, I have a riddle for you.  There are 3 women at an ice cream parlor and they each order a single scoop ice cream cone.  The first woman gently licks around the edges, the second woman slowly sucks it from the side and the third woman bites it all the way through it from top to bottom.  Which one is married?”

The teacher thought about it for a moment and said “The woman who bit it all through from top to bottom.”

So little Johnny replied “No, the woman wearing a wedding ring but I like the way you think.”

Don't piss off a crazy chick. They are nuts and go bananas over simple things

Reminds me of the clown hotel...has 300 rooms but only 5 parking spaces.

This news made a dent to the other clients

This is why babies have that soft spot on their heads.

Candy tastes better from April to June

But it started the timer for the bomb instead. Next thing I know bada bang!

You assume I'm patronizing her

[deleted]

My man

*Ah...my little Ali....they blow up so fast...*sigh

I guess it's always time for a waist-line adjustment, huh?

[removed]

Ok now i get it

And the aliens are behind this? Or is it the lizard people this time? Ooh wait, it’s the Illuminati, isn’t it? I fucking knew it.

Plot twist: It was a food truck and now I'm serving falafel to the masses. Crisis averted, business thriving.

And you said "i have only light vehicle license"

I literally almost teared up reading this. Amazing.

1. So what if black people kill black people? That doesn't give police the permission to kill them. The whole complaint about obeying lawful orders went out the window when people started protesting Trump being subjected to lawful orders which he refuses to comply with. Floyd wasn't supposed to be killed, which is why police went to jail for it. When the people protested, even journalists got shot in the face by police. Police showed us their true colors by beating protestors.

2. Jan 6th was trying to end Democracy. Trump tried to overthrow the actual votes so many times, in so many cases, it was clear that was his intention. He is still doing it today. 2000+ terrorists stormed the capitol, scared the shit out of ALL the legislators, and tried to prevent Pence from announcing the election results.

Screw you for trying to make this about your racist attitudes and not what really happened!

My teacher learned me...