Recent comments in /f/Jokes
RoLaAus t1_je39hc1 wrote
Reply to comment by maynardstaint in What’s 14 inches and hangs in front of an asshole? by Less_Geologist_4004
What the cops in that video did was essentially a private security gaurd for a rich/famous person house, taking a random stranger up to the front door, trying to gain access to the house that way (for the stranger) then the security gaurd tells the stranger "let's go around back, it should be unlocked and you can go inside that way"
RoLaAus t1_je3922f wrote
Reply to comment by maynardstaint in What’s 14 inches and hangs in front of an asshole? by Less_Geologist_4004
The fact that he dis do what he did does NOT negate the FACt that the recently released video shows a cop trying to open a locked door for him and when he couldn't he (the cops - there were actually multiple ones) direct him to another route to enter thar locked door! Either they are co-conspirators OR agaib, they not only merely "allosed" him in, they all but pushed him inside then arrested him for tresspassing.... and you can't "tresspass" someone that you GUIDED in to a building/secure room!!
RoLaAus t1_je38qj3 wrote
Reply to comment by HarryHacker42 in What’s 14 inches and hangs in front of an asshole? by Less_Geologist_4004
Except black people are 7 tines more likely to kill another black person.... cops just mowing down black people who aren't resisting arrest (like Floyd KICKING the cop trying to put him into the police SUV!!!) just isn't happening! Black people kill FAR MORE blacks than do cops! Also, a white person is 40 times more likely to be attacked by a black person than the other way around... if tou just exams those 2 facts alone, black people are more violent as a group - sure there are SOME pacifists, and sure there are SOME violent white people but POc NEED TO stop listening to mass media, it is imperative to their survival, even more so than OBEYING LAWFUL ORDERS of cops! They also need to stop having an attitude of getting killed and getting their family rich and "making a statement" for the community!!
m-m-j t1_je38lqo wrote
Reply to A boiled egg in the morning... by TheBronsXX
Pretty hard in the morning...
DirtyHalfMexican t1_je38ivb wrote
What is the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
You can't hear an enzyme.
Joel22222 t1_je38it2 wrote
Reply to I like to think I’m a pretty good man. I give over 50% of my paycheck to Charity. by Barber606
Ever noticed most stripper names are something the person can’t have? Porsche, Mercedes, Dignity.
vyprrgirl t1_je38hss wrote
Reply to comment by Impressive_Cup_6398 in Never literally taking cooking instructions… by Phippsy771
It’s not his fault—the word got left out of the dictionary, just like the word gullible did
[deleted] t1_je38664 wrote
Reply to comment by slamdanceswithwolves in I like to think I’m a pretty good man. I give over 50% of my paycheck to Charity. by Barber606
[deleted]
brudzool t1_je37yq2 wrote
Reply to comment by unipolarStore471 in What’s the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? by iverson79
How do you make a hormone?
Kick her in the cunt
Zestyclose_Recover95 t1_je37qp7 wrote
Reply to comment by TheBronsXX in A boiled egg in the morning... by TheBronsXX
Their brain is clearly scrambled
WellNowWhat6245 t1_je37kro wrote
r/twosentencehorror
AE_WILLIAMS t1_je37fi4 wrote
Much like your mom last night, they kept coming, and coming, and coming.
Drkindlycountryquack t1_je37d99 wrote
Reply to At the border, a man drives up on his bicycle with a sack on the luggage rack. by pulp_thilo
I heard this joke from eve. Signed adam.
FuzzyMatterhorN t1_je37c14 wrote
Reply to comment by DucksEchoes in What’s the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? by iverson79
If ya have to ask ya cant afford it.
livingi t1_je370jo wrote
What's the difference between a jam and a jelly?
I can't jelly my finger up your ass.
loser_neck_bearded t1_je36z2p wrote
Reply to comment by [deleted] in Nobody was scared when the clown invasion started at the beach by Dingleburrs
You are a dumbass
MoffCH t1_je36owr wrote
Reply to comment by MrHappyHam in Little Johnny's parents wanted to have some "alone time" together... by SexySwedishSpy
Funny thing is babies don’t switch to head down until after 32 weeks.
NamkrowTheRed t1_je36ewy wrote
What's the difference between a Hormone and a Vitamin? You can't hear a Vitamin.
[deleted] t1_je36340 wrote
[deleted]
mcallanman t1_je3563i wrote
Reply to A boiled egg in the morning... by TheBronsXX
An eggscelent joke.
bhlamb t1_je353g4 wrote
Reply to I like to think I’m a pretty good man. I give over 50% of my paycheck to Charity. by Barber606
I like getting Up at the crack of Dawn.
Spitriol t1_je349fm wrote
Reply to comment by Red-eleven in I like to think I’m a pretty good man. I give over 50% of my paycheck to Charity. by Barber606
I knew a Charity once. I called her Chastity a lot. Drove her nuts.
Hobbitbeanhiker t1_je3414x wrote
Reply to comment by Salarian_American in What’s the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? by iverson79
This is the way
Less_Geologist_4004 OP t1_je33zpu wrote
Reply to comment by Igloo_Heater in What’s 14 inches and hangs in front of an asshole? by Less_Geologist_4004
An old man and his old wife are sitting on the couch. She looks at him and says “ Let’s go upstairs and fuck!” He turned to her and cried “ Hot dog, that sounds great but I can only do one of them…”
maynardstaint t1_je39n4u wrote
Reply to comment by RoLaAus in What’s 14 inches and hangs in front of an asshole? by Less_Geologist_4004
I’m fine with arresting everyone who was involved, who committed a crime. But I’m not going to debate conspiracies. Prove what they did in court, not here, or move on.