Recent comments in /f/Jokes
Comfortable-Treat681 t1_je1w80f wrote
Reply to I like to think I’m a pretty good man. I give over 50% of my paycheck to Charity. by Barber606
I laughed. That's a good one.
Lil-Miss-Anthropy t1_je1vi5b wrote
Reply to comment by Make_the_music_stop in Little Johnny's parents wanted to have some "alone time" together... by SexySwedishSpy
r/badwomensanatomy
TurnItOffAndBackOnXD t1_je1uq8q wrote
Reply to comment by amerkanische_Frosch in This guy walks into the bar and sees a gorgeous blonde sitting on a bar stool all alone. by joke_channel
I love it.
TurnItOffAndBackOnXD t1_je1ukgl wrote
Reply to comment by Harshisnar in This guy walks into the bar and sees a gorgeous blonde sitting on a bar stool all alone. by joke_channel
I mean the fact that she was blond is completely unnecessary it’s good enough without being a blonde joke.
thevegantrex t1_je1trer wrote
Reply to comment by PiisAWheeL in Never literally taking cooking instructions… by Phippsy771
Grammar good. Learn we must. Yes.
EnvironmentalDeal256 t1_je1sdh1 wrote
Reply to I like to think I’m a pretty good man. I give over 50% of my paycheck to Charity. by Barber606
You should have Faith once in awhile.
IllAcanthopterygii36 t1_je1rydu wrote
Reply to I miss my ex wife…. by rnavstar
You can have her back.
GlowstoneLove t1_je1qnke wrote
Sandwic
impendingfuckery t1_je1qdpu wrote
Reply to At the bar last night, a woman got her nipple pierced right in front of me by faithless_serene
What a titular joke!
amerkanische_Frosch t1_je1qd54 wrote
Yeah, I had a similar problem.
My wife came into the kitchen and caught me jumping, gyrating and flailing my hands and feet around while all the while holding a bottle of orange juice.
She asked me just what the hell was going on, so I explained to her.
"It says here, 'Shake thoroughly before drinking'".
JohnAStark t1_je1q0d6 wrote
This reminds me of one of my favorite stories of my son as a boy scout.
To get his cooking badge he had to plan the meals for a troop weekend outing - breakfasts, lunches and dinners - buy on budget, with healthy foods, organize the preparation of the food, and do much of the cooking himself.
For the final dinner the desert was to be a "dump cake", the instructions said: mix all ingredients in a pan and chill for an hour. Well, he took that to mean "chill out", not put on ice... with inedible, but hilarious results.
We still joke about it to this day...
General_Hyde t1_je1oy3l wrote
Reply to comment by Phippsy771 in Never literally taking cooking instructions… by Phippsy771
DAAAAAAA bulls da bulls da bulls da bulls da bulls da bulls da bulls da bulls (has heart attack, “dies”, gets revived) da bulls da bulls da bulls da bulls da bulls da bulls da bulls da bulls da bulls da bulls da bulls da bulls da bulls
Cindexxx t1_je1olg4 wrote
Reply to comment by [deleted] in Little Johnny's parents wanted to have some "alone time" together... by SexySwedishSpy
The kid is eating ice cream on the porch while the parents are screwing, and the kid figured out their trick. They're just yelling to each other because there's a window open or something.
HarryHacker42 t1_je1o4ax wrote
Reply to comment by 9boi in What’s 14 inches and hangs in front of an asshole? by Less_Geologist_4004
Your insults bounce like stale cheetos off my Kevlar school uniform.
Heree_WeGo t1_je1o3ep wrote
Reply to comment by Torvite in This guy walks into the bar and sees a gorgeous blonde sitting on a bar stool all alone. by joke_channel
Upvoted by human beings that have zero understanding of women and think that a woman would prefer to be eaten out by a frog than a man.
Working_Bit_1288 t1_je1m0l8 wrote
Reply to comment by scientology-embracer in Little Johnny's parents wanted to have some "alone time" together... by SexySwedishSpy
Then tell me on which parts you can see traffic lights!
maynardstaint t1_je1lwd6 wrote
Reply to comment by RoLaAus in What’s 14 inches and hangs in front of an asshole? by Less_Geologist_4004
I think he’s referring to the people who are in jail because the confessed to their crimes.
[deleted] t1_je1l8xc wrote
[removed]
nickfree t1_je1ktwh wrote
Reply to comment by betam4x in Little Johnny's parents wanted to have some "alone time" together... by SexySwedishSpy
That's eerily word-for-word what a human would say.
Gemple t1_je1kk91 wrote
Reply to comment by speculatrix in At the border, a man drives up on his bicycle with a sack on the luggage rack. by pulp_thilo
I caught it too. lol
Gotta love a Far Side reference!!
peekay427 t1_je1ke0l wrote
Reply to comment by DidntWantSleepAnyway in This guy walks into the bar and sees a gorgeous blonde sitting on a bar stool all alone. by joke_channel
Ha, thanks!
Lolbitodj t1_je1k9j8 wrote
Reply to comment by iharreman88 in I miss my ex wife…. by rnavstar
W reference
[deleted] t1_je1k995 wrote
Reply to comment by Qalinx in Little Johnny's parents wanted to have some "alone time" together... by SexySwedishSpy
okay! i think I am going to throw up! 🤮🤮🤮🤮
No_BIiss t1_je1k5o8 wrote
Reply to comment by truly_big in Never literally taking cooking instructions… by Phippsy771
I don’t even blame you
PolyJuicedRedHead t1_je1wd9w wrote
Reply to Never literally taking cooking instructions… by Phippsy771
So I shouldn’t beat the eggs and whip cream?