Existing-Finger6394 t1_jdzgsbu wrote on March 28, 2023 at 9:42 AM

Reply to At the bar last night, a woman got her nipple pierced right in front of me by faithless_serene

Ha

amerkanische_Frosch t1_jdzghrc wrote on March 28, 2023 at 9:38 AM

Reply to This guy walks into the bar and sees a gorgeous blonde sitting on a bar stool all alone. by joke_channel

James Bond walks into a bar and sizes up the local talent.

He sees a gorgeous blonde sitting on a bar stool.

He walks up, catlike, to the bar, orders a vodka martini (shaken, not stirred!), puts his hand on the blonde's knee and says, suavely:

"Bond. JAMES Bond."

The blonde gets off the stool and kicks Bond squarely in the balls. As Bond is doubled over in pain, she administers a powerful right uppercut to his chin. Mercifully, he sinks into unconsciousness and falls to the floor.

The blonde says:

"Off. FUCK off."

drinkyourpoision t1_jdzg50c wrote on March 28, 2023 at 9:33 AM

Reply to At the bar last night, a woman got her nipple pierced right in front of me by faithless_serene

Nipple rings taste like house keys and there no place like home baby!

DarthScotchy t1_jdzg2zf wrote on March 28, 2023 at 9:32 AM

Reply to comment by [deleted] in This guy walks into the bar and sees a gorgeous blonde sitting on a bar stool all alone. by joke_channel

Wait what did it say

[deleted] t1_jdzf3xo wrote on March 28, 2023 at 9:17 AM

Reply to This guy walks into the bar and sees a gorgeous blonde sitting on a bar stool all alone. by joke_channel

[removed]

Calavente t1_jdzewms wrote on March 28, 2023 at 9:14 AM

Reply to The rectum stretcher by Siosal01

insult to agent : new ticket... or even "go to jail"

Professional-Dirt575 t1_jdzew40 wrote on March 28, 2023 at 9:14 AM

Reply to The Chili lover by Remarkable-Youth-504

Heard it in another language before, always makes me chuckle

[deleted] t1_jdzeq7d wrote on March 28, 2023 at 9:12 AM

Reply to This guy walks into the bar and sees a gorgeous blonde sitting on a bar stool all alone. by joke_channel

[removed]

[deleted] t1_jdzejxt wrote on March 28, 2023 at 9:09 AM

Reply to comment by [deleted] in This guy walks into the bar and sees a gorgeous blonde sitting on a bar stool all alone. by joke_channel

[removed]

[deleted] t1_jdzec1b wrote on March 28, 2023 at 9:06 AM

Reply to This guy walks into the bar and sees a gorgeous blonde sitting on a bar stool all alone. by joke_channel

[removed]

MattheqAC t1_jdzdl25 wrote on March 28, 2023 at 8:54 AM

Reply to I walked in on my wife having sex with her gym trainer... by mrtipbull

Was she improving?

AirbagOff t1_jdzdiww wrote on March 28, 2023 at 8:54 AM

Reply to What do you call a constipated detective? by CrippledKidneys

Columbo becomes Colon-don’t.

aminKA90 t1_jdzd3n1 wrote on March 28, 2023 at 8:47 AM

Reply to comment by slowtree89 in What do you call it when soap feels guilty? by slowtree89

There is no need for a soap opera.

Difficult-Reach-5205 t1_jdzcdnb wrote on March 28, 2023 at 8:36 AM

Reply to At the bar last night, a woman got her nipple pierced right in front of me by faithless_serene

titotaler in bar. stud move

Make_the_music_stop t1_jdzaixu wrote on March 28, 2023 at 8:08 AM

Reply to Little Johnny's parents wanted to have some "alone time" together... by SexySwedishSpy

A doctor is delivering Little Johnny. His head comes out and Johnny says “Hey, you my dad?”. The doctor is shocked, says no and Johnny shoots back inside the mother. The doctors calls the midwife over to have a look. Again the baby’s head pops out, “Hey, you my dad!?” The midwife says no and the baby shoots back inside the mother.

The doctor and midwife decide they better get the father who was too squeamish to be in the delivery room.

So the father looks between his wife’s legs. The baby’s head pops out again. “Hey, you my dad?”

Father “Yes!”

Little Johnny, “Well come here” and a tiny arm squeezes out, and starts to punch the top of the father’s head nonstop while shouting “HOW…WOULD…YOU…LIKE…THIS…TO…HAPPEN…EVERY…NIGHT…OF…YOUR…LIFE”