Recent comments in /f/Jokes
Ath47 t1_jdj07gn wrote
Reply to comment by Sapphire580 in My wife was just in a minor accident. She's told the police that the man she hit was on his phone and drinking a Coke at the time by Gil-Gandel
That's what I was thinking. "Officer, this guy was texting while drinking a beer!" "Well, it's his living room, he can do whatever he wants."
burmadawg t1_jdj02kz wrote
Reply to comment by TooShiftyForYou in I gave a woman my umbrella yesterday by h3llofaRide
Mines three inches also, but most women dont like it that fat.
johnsolomon t1_jdizzxw wrote
Reply to comment by Stealfur in I went to the zoo today and there were 2 baguettes in a cage by MrRickSter
Nope it made me laugh
Kooky-Meat506 t1_jdizqos wrote
Reply to My wife was just in a minor accident. She's told the police that the man she hit was on his phone and drinking a Coke at the time by Gil-Gandel
Women drivers...am I right fellas ?
Payneful_Prose t1_jdiz923 wrote
Reply to comment by DiasFer in What do you call an inexpensive circumcision? by masterbrand44
Thank you!!
Payneful_Prose t1_jdiz8ix wrote
Reply to comment by Shpadoinkle3052 in What do you call an inexpensive circumcision? by masterbrand44
Thank you!!
Stealfur t1_jdiyost wrote
Reply to comment by Litmus44 in I went to the zoo today and there were 2 baguettes in a cage by MrRickSter
Da, of course! For instance. Dis you ever hear de one about the two men und the bear?
>!the men, who were taught to always respect nature, said to the bear, "No, thank you. We would like you to leave now. The bear, being a wild animal, did not care about their respectful request and mauled them to death!!<
Haha, silly men. This is not how you deal with a bear!
Editors note >! I'm not actually German and have no idea if this is funny or offensive. If someone I'd offended, let me know, and I'll delete it.!<
AsYouAnswered t1_jdiykzj wrote
Reply to comment by bj-mc in A panda walks into a bar and orders a sandwich by Akhi1
Make like a tree and head out?
krabmeat t1_jdixyvf wrote
So I decided that I should get circumsized last week. I went to my doctor to ask what it would cost and when he told me all I could say was just "oh, that's too much..."
So instead I figured why not do a DIY job? So I went to my local hardware store and bought a nice little hand axe. I prepped an area in my workshop, pulled everything taut, and THWACK!
When I examined my handiwork, all I could say was "oh, that's too much..."
bobcouldbeyouraunt t1_jdiwcs2 wrote
Reply to My wife was just in a minor accident. She's told the police that the man she hit was on his phone and drinking a Coke at the time by Gil-Gandel
My wife was just in a minor accident. She knocked over a 12 year old.
[deleted] t1_jdiw19h wrote
GunSOlace t1_jdivp1d wrote
Reply to comment by wdaloz in I went to the zoo today and there were 2 baguettes in a cage by MrRickSter
Osmosis. Bacteria don't do that inbreeding thing. They know what's good for them.
President_Calhoun t1_jditotk wrote
Reply to comment by TheReal-Chris in I gave a woman my umbrella yesterday by h3llofaRide
>Yeah baby. We’ve got a category 5 squirt coming.
From Al Roker's sex tape.
TransportationOk1780 t1_jditjs0 wrote
My watchdog is named Pocket.
scottxian t1_jdit19k wrote
Reply to comment by Talik1978 in My wife was just in a minor accident. She's told the police that the man she hit was on his phone and drinking a Coke at the time by Gil-Gandel
Take my upvote, ya filthy animal. I blew coffee all over my workshop.
Healthy_Ladder_6198 t1_jdisp2g wrote
Ouch
Agaudwin t1_jdiskug wrote
Reply to comment by Zealousideal_Tea3509 in I went to the zoo today and there were 2 baguettes in a cage by MrRickSter
>I get some of them, punk....Sorry, I meant puns. My first attempt to be witty in English.
bj-mc t1_jdis9t5 wrote
Reply to comment by AsYouAnswered in A panda walks into a bar and orders a sandwich by Akhi1
Make like a Banana and split
chunckycat08 t1_jdirvb3 wrote
Reply to I gave a woman my umbrella yesterday by h3llofaRide
bet she was yelling at you to give it to her cause she was wet.
Zealousideal_Tea3509 t1_jdiriow wrote
Reply to comment by Agaudwin in I went to the zoo today and there were 2 baguettes in a cage by MrRickSter
It's punny to anyone who speaks English as a home language.
AspiredTheory t1_jdirhu8 wrote
Reply to comment by JulsTiger10 in There has been much said and sung about the "Eye Of The Tiger", but how come no one ever talks about the other four letters? by LOHare
Fr LSU?
Gil-Gandel OP t1_jdir7ay wrote
Reply to comment by Sapphire580 in My wife was just in a minor accident. She's told the police that the man she hit was on his phone and drinking a Coke at the time by Gil-Gandel
Well, juggling your phone and a can at the same time would be bad enough, yesno?
AsYouAnswered t1_jdiquiq wrote
Reply to comment by bj-mc in A panda walks into a bar and orders a sandwich by Akhi1
Make like a banana and leaf?
Evening-Tomatillo-47 t1_jdiqud6 wrote
Reply to comment by theplutosys in My wife was just in a minor accident. She's told the police that the man she hit was on his phone and drinking a Coke at the time by Gil-Gandel
And asserting other people's opinions?
JohnTequilaWoo t1_jdj0e9w wrote
Reply to comment by Gil-Gandel in My wife was just in a minor accident. She's told the police that the man she hit was on his phone and drinking a Coke at the time by Gil-Gandel
It works much better with a beer.