Recent comments in /f/Jokes
musetechnician t1_jdhr3iq wrote
Reply to comment by joculator in I gave a woman my umbrella yesterday by h3llofaRide
Especially with this super dry joke.
noah859 t1_jdhr24z wrote
Reply to comment by CIMMGW2 in I went to the zoo today and there were 2 baguettes in a cage by MrRickSter
Sounds like a “pain” in the ass!
babesplat t1_jdhr0gt wrote
Reply to I gave a woman my umbrella yesterday by h3llofaRide
umbrellas are very tory
theplutosys t1_jdhqw6x wrote
Reply to comment by EwoksMakeMeHard in My wife was just in a minor accident. She's told the police that the man she hit was on his phone and drinking a Coke at the time by Gil-Gandel
ok grammar nazi, literally nobody cares
theplutosys t1_jdhqv6l wrote
Roheez t1_jdhqm99 wrote
Reply to comment by [deleted] in My wife was just in a minor accident. She's told the police that the man she hit was on his phone and drinking a Coke at the time by Gil-Gandel
But it makes cops jealous
CFCYYZ t1_jdhqg6z wrote
An inexpensive circumcision is cut-rate, like 50% off.
Talik1978 t1_jdhorga wrote
Reply to comment by Me_is_irish in My wife was just in a minor accident. She's told the police that the man she hit was on his phone and drinking a Coke at the time by Gil-Gandel
They should send that woman to Ohio, so that she can show that state how to run a train.
RolloutTieDispenser t1_jdhoisi wrote
Reply to comment by Nephrelim in What do you call an inexpensive circumcision? by masterbrand44
I don't know how you guys walk around with those things
SpiralSuitcase t1_jdhogm1 wrote
Reply to comment by Gil-Gandel in My wife was just in a minor accident. She's told the police that the man she hit was on his phone and drinking a Coke at the time by Gil-Gandel
Your casual misogyny is not the point. The joke only works if at first her excuse seems reasonable, and then the punchline turns it around and MAKES it unreasonable. Otherwise there's no subversion and no joke.
Somebody else already commented it, but it works better if she tries to claim he was drunk. A drunk person could conceivably stumble in front of your car, and it wouldn't legally be your fault if you hit them. Then the punchline actually changes things.
Nephrelim t1_jdhoddh wrote
Reply to comment by RolloutTieDispenser in What do you call an inexpensive circumcision? by masterbrand44
Oooh yeah. Especially when you don’t want it to.
Rizzlaboy t1_jdhnn54 wrote
A scissors
JukePlz t1_jdhmn5c wrote
Reply to comment by theprofessa808 in My wife was just in a minor accident. She's told the police that the man she hit was on his phone and drinking a Coke at the time by Gil-Gandel
there's no mentions of cars or driving tho. I think it's just a joke about marital violence, since "accident" is ambiguous
edit: Why the fuck am I getting downvoted? You people see CAR written there?
Gil-Gandel OP t1_jdhmloi wrote
Reply to comment by SpiralSuitcase in My wife was just in a minor accident. She's told the police that the man she hit was on his phone and drinking a Coke at the time by Gil-Gandel
You haven't argued with many women lately, I guess.
Adorable-Fondant5187 t1_jdhmcqx wrote
Cut rate
FlashpointJ24 t1_jdhm9ai wrote
Reply to My wife was just in a minor accident. She's told the police that the man she hit was on his phone and drinking a Coke at the time by Gil-Gandel
>I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, "There is water in the carburetor." I said, "Where's the car?" She said, "In the lake."
--Henny Youngman
[deleted] t1_jdhlhbo wrote
Reply to comment by amerkanische_Frosch in I went to the zoo today and there were 2 baguettes in a cage by MrRickSter
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Gramage t1_jdhl8nq wrote
Reply to comment by subtlystub714 in I gave a woman my umbrella yesterday by h3llofaRide
Or it's Been Shapiro
Badass-19 t1_jdhl7fj wrote
Reply to comment by c0dyw0dy27 in I ran into Rick Astley today. by prlugo4162
Neither he'd make OP cry
RolloutTieDispenser t1_jdhl0cp wrote
Reply to comment by refreshing_username in What do you call an inexpensive circumcision? by masterbrand44
It can shrink?
refreshing_username t1_jdhktnq wrote
I just experienced reflexive shrinkage.
Abides1948 t1_jdhkon6 wrote
Painful.
E420CDI t1_jdhkoga wrote
They were feeling a little sour, doh.
Famous-A t1_jdhko2f wrote
Reply to comment by Richinwalla in I went to the zoo today and there were 2 baguettes in a cage by MrRickSter
She had hot cross buns
[deleted] t1_jdhr6zx wrote
Reply to comment by SpiralSuitcase in My wife was just in a minor accident. She's told the police that the man she hit was on his phone and drinking a Coke at the time by Gil-Gandel
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