Recent comments in /f/Jokes
Jassida t1_jdhfs2q wrote
Attach them to your belt so it can be a waist of your time instead of mine
regrettablyold t1_jdhfnas wrote
sherriffflood t1_jdhfjut wrote
I was at the zoo the other day and saw a monkey sucking it’s own cock with a finger up it’s ass. ‘I wish I could do that!’ I remarked. ‘Give it some peanuts and it will let you’ said the attendant
yuyufan43 t1_jdhf4qk wrote
My uncle actually did have a dog named Seiko who was a watchdog
Gil-Gandel OP t1_jdhf03r wrote
Reply to comment by fairlyPertain in My wife was just in a minor accident. She's told the police that the man she hit was on his phone and drinking a Coke at the time by Gil-Gandel
The real upvotes are in the comments.
BaltimoreBadger23 t1_jdheuot wrote
Reply to My wife was just in a minor accident. She's told the police that the man she hit was on his phone and drinking a Coke at the time by Gil-Gandel
Similar thing happens to my wife, and as much as she insisted the guy she hit was drunk, the police insisted that he's allowed to be inside the bar she drove through.
BaltimoreBadger23 t1_jdhep6v wrote
Reply to comment by yParticle in My wife was just in a minor accident. She's told the police that the man she hit was on his phone and drinking a Coke at the time by Gil-Gandel
My wife was in a miner accident, how she got the car down there in the first place, I'll never know!
peter_the_martian t1_jdhdd2c wrote
Reply to My wife was just in a minor accident. She's told the police that the man she hit was on his phone and drinking a Coke at the time by Gil-Gandel
My schizophrenic husband got in a car accident trying to give himself road head. He hit a tree thinking he was a contortionist
PMmeHOPEplease t1_jdhcuqo wrote
Reply to comment by SirX86 in A panda walks into a bar and orders a sandwich by Akhi1
Yeah that's the one. It's literally called eats, shoots and leaves 😅
One-Butterscotch6076 t1_jdhciyd wrote
I took my daughter to the new zoo They only had one dog! It was a Shit Tzu.
Abe_Rudda t1_jdhcbzb wrote
Reply to comment by DaFunkyCake in I just invented a car that only moves when the driver is silent. by WarlikeDisco
I mean the biggest joke in history is Christianity so the post is on topic
wdaloz t1_jdhc3f5 wrote
I always worry about sourdough. The yeast gets reus3d and reused for generations an eventually they all wind up inbread
Shadowed_Knight t1_jdhbtn0 wrote
Reply to comment by Next_Grade646 in My wife was just in a minor accident. She's told the police that the man she hit was on his phone and drinking a Coke at the time by Gil-Gandel
Bro just incorrected OP
theinquisition t1_jdhbr19 wrote
Reply to comment by hiddenyogi in I gave a woman my umbrella yesterday by h3llofaRide
Can you imagine being the first person to find this out? Like whoa what the fuck is THAT
Forsaken_Day_1266 t1_jdhbjp1 wrote
Reply to comment by Waitsfornoone in I just invented a car that only moves when the driver is silent. by WarlikeDisco
Mind your own kinks
Environmental-Win836 t1_jdhbheh wrote
Happy cake day!!
Grumpy949 t1_jdhabaj wrote
Speaking as an epileptic, that’s funny as h*ll.
risingstanding t1_jdha55u wrote
RanCestor t1_jdha54k wrote
Reply to comment by fairlyPertain in My wife was just in a minor accident. She's told the police that the man she hit was on his phone and drinking a Coke at the time by Gil-Gandel
It's a different category from the "3 people go to a bar" joke I think.
[deleted] t1_jdh9xfh wrote
Reply to comment by fishy_commishy in I bought two Rottweilers and named them Rolex and Omega by Round-Watch-8228
[deleted]
CIMMGW2 t1_jdh9taq wrote
Those French baguettes are a real "pain" to catch!
EyeLeft3804 t1_jdh7uj1 wrote
Reply to comment by yParticle in My wife was just in a minor accident. She's told the police that the man she hit was on his phone and drinking a Coke at the time by Gil-Gandel
This is the funniest part of the post.
Kjata2 t1_jdh7to0 wrote
Reply to comment by yParticle in My wife was just in a minor accident. She's told the police that the man she hit was on his phone and drinking a Coke at the time by Gil-Gandel
Sure, but those are the ones that need qualifiers. "Phone" defaults to smart phones these days, anything else is the unusual one.
safetyguy1997 t1_jdh7oio wrote
It's very unusual for them to breed in captivity, but these ones rose to the occasion.
firebolt_wt t1_jdhfwe0 wrote
Reply to comment by yParticle in My wife was just in a minor accident. She's told the police that the man she hit was on his phone and drinking a Coke at the time by Gil-Gandel
They do exist, just no one under 50 has them